Pain Unacquainted

Packed day today. =) Or yesterday, because of the past-midnight thing, but it's still today to me anyway.

Just heard from Kathy yesterday (or the day before yesterday, respectively) about Times books warehouse sale in Expo, so I checked it out this morning. This kind of events is usually crowded, so I kiasu-ly made a point to be there right at opening time (10 a.m.) -- then at least I could enjoy an hour of less crowd.

Turned out it wasn't necessary; the crowd was pretty small the entire time I was there. I kinda figured out why -- there weren't many that attracted me there. The titles I would've been interested to buy, I already had. There were quite a lot of novels on sale, but I didn't know most of the authors, so I had no idea if they would be good.

-- the pain she wrote

I did find two catches at the end. One is Anne Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition at half price, which I guess is only because the cover is damaged. Famous as it is, I've never really been interested; but as I was flipping through the book, I found that I liked the writings at all the pages I stopped at. =) It's been translated from Dutch, so I suppose half the credit goes to the translator, but the content was good to start with.

The other is a computing textbook by Wayne Wolf at 7 dollars. Considering how these books can cost around 70 dollars, I'm glad I found it. =) I was indeed looking for some general reading on embedded systems for my research, and it was only after I was satisfied with the content that I flipped back to the cover and realized who the author was -- whoa, pretty famous in my field leh. Hueheu. Slow, slow. But at least it means my judgement of this book is not biased hor. =D

Whirled a while through the Metro sale next door too, but didn't get anything from there. Come to think of it, in these sales I've always seen people getting pillows. Ha. Were they really such a good buy when on sale?

In any case, people, these sales will be there until 2 Jan, so you can still catch them if you want. Times promises to add new titles everyday, so maybe there's still hope.

-- the pain i failed to see

My next event of the day was Confession of Pain (傷城). I googled some reviews on this movie some time ago, and ended up reading an unrelated quote of how revenge is a confession of pain. It's very relevant after all, then. (I wonder if this is considered a spoiler? Too late for a warning anyway, so sorry. XP)

My partiality for Tony Leung aside =P, I think it's a very good story, though I seemed to have tuned my expectations the wrong way and ruined my own enjoyment. =( I went in expecting a good mystery thriller, but it wasn't meant to be that at all. The actual fact was revealed from the start, and the thrill should've been in figuring out the motives and making the connections. And the focus of the film wasn't even this, but the emotional struggle of the characters. Ah, what a waste of all those powerful acting on me! X(

On the side, this movie sort of redeemed Takeshi Kaneshiro in my opinion, after all his lovey-dovey roles and playboy-ish looks. (I didn't watch much of him in fact, so this was my biased perception lah.) Then One Last Dance (茶舞) (next target) will most likely redeem Francis Ng from my personal, unfair, villain image of him. Hurhur. (Eh, but he's still acting as an assassin yah? Ha.)

Today was also a losing-to-the-shopping-temptation day; after those books, I got attracted to a Shiratori Emiko CD when whiling time between the movie and the next event. (If you remember, she was the one who sang the original Japanese version of Melodies of Life, the theme song for Final Fantasy IX.)

I hesitated at first because almost half the track listing of that album ("Beauty Power Super Selection") are cover versions, and I was curious about only one song in there. (By the way, the track listing in that link doesn't correspond exactly to the CD I got; probably a different release.) So I went round and round the shop looking at other stuff, cooking the decision over until the moment before I exited the shop. =P As it turns out, that one song rather disappoints, but I do find a few favourites among the original songs. So at least I can comfort myself rather justifiably. Huhuh.

-- the pain i do not know

Last appointment of the day was dinner with several friends, one of whom just lost her mother. Given the aggravating circumstances surrounding it, I've had the thought of how undeserved (for lack of a better term) that was. Now I realize how immature that thought has been. I was in awe of how positively she was taking this, pivoting strongly on her faith.

It's only then that I really saw how true it was, that life trials make us strong. My share of crises has not been quite as hard. How weak I still am compared to these friends of mine... and yet I certainly do not wish for such trials to come to me just so I can have that learning opportunity. (Though this particular trial is of course, generally, inevitable.) There's time for everything for everyone, maybe?

After the dinner Igid suggested making a stop at Gramophone (which we didn't manage to, in the end), and I mentioned that I really liked their slogan: "Without music, life would be a mistake." (Found out later that this was actually a quote from Nietzsche.) While I of course agreed, I admitted it might be over the top for other people whose interests lie elsewhere. But Igid thought it wasn't wrong really; music exists because it is meant to exist, so it would really be a mistake if it didn't. =D

Interesting point of view, eh. Though if you twist it around, if music didn't exist, then it would be just as 'correct' as it must've been meant not to, right? Ah, the wonder of what-if-s. But regardless, everything is as it is, all's right with the world -- isn't it.

The Last Name

Hooh, right after a post on ikite (living on), here's a post on desu (death).

I still don't get the point of having movie sneak previews the way they are practiced in our theatres; how is it different than if they just let it open a few days early? (Wiki seems to say this isn't the way sneak previews should be, though.) But anyhow, because of this practice, I got to see Death Note 2, which is to open on 28th, last night. (Confession of Pain is lined up for 28th too, so something's gotta give.)

(...Not that I'm so kiasu I have to see them right after they open, but the longer the delay, the higher the chance someone may spoil the plot for me. And this sounds like a denial, doesn't it.)

Wasn't as excited as I was for the first one, as I predicted the plot was going to deviate from the manga again... and it did. But I actually like it quite well. The movie in total (part one and two) covered only the first saga, which is a good thing, because the second saga was not as interesting in my opinion. They basically blended the manga ending into the ending of the first saga -- keeping true to its "The Last Name" sub-title, though with important differences in other aspects -- and in doing so, blended a few new roles into existing ones. Fewer characters, each taking up more significant roles, so things are kept simple and solid.

Some other simplifications did disappoint me -- the manga let the characters deduce the twists in certain situations, but the movie cut it short by revealing the truth from the beginning, which took out the fun. *pouts*

And again, I don't like the movie's Raito. Not intense enough. His personality changed quite a few times in the course of the plot, which was apparent in the manga (and I really found him lovable during certain periods of these) but this was lost in the movie. It might be hard to match the manga's expressiveness (especially when it's Obata Takeshi), but it was still a big letdown in that one climactic scene.

...And after watching Jinnai Takanori in Ichi Rittoru, I began to think such level of expressiveness is actually possible. =P May not be a fair comparison though, as that one was for the comical effect.

L was fine, and his role was even more entertaining this time around. They actually flashed his real name in the movie! It was never revealed in the manga, and I'd thought it best that way, as it kept him on the sacred ground that he'd been throughout the story. But now that I've missed reading it on the screen, it made me rather curious too. =D

It was also a pleasant surprise to get a closer take on Raito's family, which really touched me. Ziggy who watched this with me said that they seemed to be focusing more on emotions rather than the wits as the manga did. So all in all I'm quite satisfied with the movie being a complement to the manga, much like how it is with Fullmetal Alchemist manga and anime.

Was I unusually critical with movies only when they concerned the mangas I'm obsessed over? =D I can't seem to construct a gracious ending to this rambling, so I'll just stop it here, heh.

Ikite ne... Zutto Ikite.

You said that God is unfair, but aren't you the one trying to do unfair things? ...If you just blame it on your illness, and throw away all the things you can do, can you still say that God is the one unfair?
-- Ikeuchi Shioka, "Ichi Rittoru no Namida"


Spent the whole weekend watching Ichi Rittoru no Namida. It's every bit as good and commands as many tears as everybody's been saying. T_T For sure my tears didn't fill up to 1 litre as the title says, but every single episode (even the first) has made me cry, a feat no other drama I've watched has achieved so far. =P Maybe it's the deep context that the script and the acting built up so well, I wanted to cry at the simplest words being said. *wipes wipes*

Story details can be found at the above link and easily google-able. Based on a real-life account, though it surely contains some fictitious bits. Dreaming Illusions has the subbed episodes, and I fully recommend watching it yourself. Just quoting the moral messages here feels flat to me, as what impressed me most was the unexpected wisdom in pragmatic opinions scattered throughout the series.


It can't be helped. Because, you see, parents are always thinking in terms of their children's benefit. Isn't that okay? It doesn't matter how the other parents put it. We're just ourselves and we need to think only about Aya.
-- Ikeuchi Mizuo, "Ichi Rittoru no Namida"


I like the father a lot, he looked like he was pulled out of a comic book straight, such expressive face! Found the actor who played Deathnote's L too. =D firefly warned me not to watch the drama for his sake since he didn't appear much; and I do find almost all of the characters very lovable, each of their predicaments and clumsy attempts at solutions close to home.

The episode outro was everything I think it could best be -- snapshots of the real person's life, diary quotes, colourized pictures of daily encounters like the classroom, the stairs, flowers, sky... They are beautifully captured, and the colourization seems to imply a new way of looking at these mundane things. All these backed by the gentle ending theme with very fitting lyrics.


It got me thinking that, here I am crying my throat sore for this one person, while, aren't there many others out there, in perhaps worse conditions, whom I never care about? I always think life is better viewed stripped from any drama, but some things are apparently hard to see when not dramatized, ne...

Don't Download This Song

Once in a while
maybe you will feel the urge
to break international copyright law...

Yep, it's Weird Al Yankovic. Caught that line while in HMV yesterday and, immediately relating to the lyrics, I stood watching the whole music video for a good laugh. Here's so you can have some too:
YouTube: Don't Download This Song

Lyrics can be found here, and some help from Wiki to understand a few references he makes.

And of course, I downloaded the song. Heh. But legally, mind you. The artist himself posts his songs for download on his website. Just find the link on the main page.

While I do practice what he says about "the record store's where you belong", my time in there is usually spent browsing and sampling only. =P Zard is still 72 dollars, sigh.

On the side, Indonesians will probably relate differently to the line about remembering a certain imprisoned "Tommy". =)

Live Like You Were Dying

Was trying to find information on a car window lift controller application for my research, so I:

Google: car window lift state chart
-->
Amazon.com: Friday Night Lights [HD DVD]: "throws his State Championship ring out the car window]"
-->
IMDb: Friday Night Lights
-->
IMDb: Tim McGraw
-->
Google: Live Like You Were Dying

That's the way [my workday] goes, pop goes the weasel.

---

Live Like You Were Dying
~ Tim McGraw

He said,
"I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me,
and a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days looking at the x-rays
and talking 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time."

I asked him, when it sank in
that this might really be the real end,
"How's it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man, whatcha do?"

And he said,
"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter,
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
And he said, "Someday, I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dyin'."

He said,
"I was finally the husband that most the time I wasn't,
and I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all of a sudden goin' fishin' wasn’t such an imposition,
and I went three times that year I lost my Dad."

"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again.
And then--"

"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter,
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
And he said, "Someday, I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dyin'."

"Like tomorrow was a gift,
and you got eternity to think about what you’d do with it.
And what did you do with it?
And what can I do with it?
And what would I do with it?"

"Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And then I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter,
and I watched an eagle as it was flyin'."
And he said, "Someday, I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dyin'."

Seven Years Now

Haven't been feeling like blogging lately, hm. Only been posting articles for the past month. Writing did go on in some other area which is going to stay unpublished... so yeah. =D Then our Batch Five bunch had a reunion last weekend, which I felt like talking about now. =)

How the time goes by --
Suddenly, you’re wise.

We had a very fulfilling reunion this year -- attendance was record-breaking (ha) and we got more talks done as a whole group. This despite the lack of planning, in which we didn't manage to book the place we originally chose, and later found out it'd been out of business. 0_0 One closed-for-the-day makan place later, we finally got to Ayam Penyet @ Bugis -- lucky for us, unlucky for them -- because we wreaked quite a havoc there. =P

But our Big Walk (or should I say Hijrah, in the spirit of historical Indonesian soldiers) to the alternative destination actually gave us more time for interactions, so I suppose it was all good after all. =)

There’s still time for you,
time to buy and time to lose yourself within a morning star...

Photos in the collage below courtesy of vy and cheeto. The bad quality is to be blamed on me and my 10-minute Paint work. =P


Only one camera (not mine or cheeto's) had the photo with all of us in it, so I'll upload it once I get it. In the meantime, here's the Christmas decoration without us. ^^0


Afterwards we went to hang out near Singapore River, during which we brought up the subject of homosexuality, somehow. ^^ Turned out some of us had had a few culturally-shocking encounters. Naturally we then referred to religious beliefs, which our group had a good variety of. I personally was always apprehensive about this kind of situation, a mindset I wish to shed myself. =P So I was kinda glad we started on this discussion after all.

And this reminded me of a friend I used to comfortably have religious discussions before, despite our different religions. We kind of fell out of touch after graduation, so I guess I should try to catch up with him one of these days. =)

The sun is getting high,
we’re moving on...

Our anniversary this year was also marked by one sad occasion and one happy occasion. Life does go on for each of us, huh... Some of us have made the transition to the married life; some have gone back home to Indonesia. All of us have definitely changed one way or another, seven years from the time we first met; though we do enjoy pointing out the infamous traits that each other still carry through the years. Indeed, some things I really do hope we can get away with not growing up from.

There’s never a wish better than this,
when you only got a hundred years to live.

-- Five for Fighting, "100 Years"

Perfection Perception

By Eugene Loh
From A Slice of Life


Many of us conventionally accept this world as an imperfect one. Obviously, there is much unfairness and injustice. What about poverty, hunger, suffering and pain? And surely one cannot miss the ugliness, the violence, the wickedness?

Everyday, seemingly innocent lives are lost, best laid plans go awry, babies are born physically-handicapped, children charge into war zones with guns, hearts get broken, and loved ones fall ill.

Yes, things hardly look ideal, but is it possible that perfection does exist? And it's just waiting to be perceived, to be discovered?

An undeniable, hidden force moves this world. Call it God, call it Nature, call it the Law of the Universe; there is much debate over just what this unseen force is, but most people agree that it exists.

Sure, the sun could simply be rising and setting all by itself every day, but what of the bamboo fruits in a region of India that bloom once only every half a century? What about the perfectly-symmetrical snowflake? What's their motivation? What charts the movement of animals across continents, the clouds that bring rain just in time to parched lands, the waxing and waning of the moon?

Nature, or whatever you wish to call it, creates a perfect loop, a perfect circle. Human beings are also part of Nature; we are part of the loop. No matter how problematic our lives may appear to be, they must be part of the design.

When we see this natural world as a whole, our own problems become insignificant. Entire animal colonies can vanish overnight; what makes our work stress so terrible? Because it's happening to us, yes, but that doesn't mean there isn't stress, pain, and suffering everywhere else. Death and tribulation are part of the natural world. We are too small to perceive the perfect pattern, to follow the perfect loop all the way through.

The image of a beautiful blue sky and the picture of vultures ripping away at an antelope's rotting carcass may seem very distant from each other, but they're all microscopic threads that interweave through the Fabric of Life.

Similarly, the suffering, pain, death and heartache in our own lives may seem uncalled for, but they all have their place in the modus operandi of this world. In Richard Bach's book, "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah", the Messiah, Donald Shimodo, was lying in some meadow, gazing up at the sky with his pal Richard. Donald at some point asked Richard, "Is that a perfect sky, or should those clouds be changed somehow to make them more perfect?" Richard of course says yes, it's a perfect sky, how could it not be? And Donald Shimodo comes back with, "Well then, what makes you think that your life could be any less perfect than that sky?"

The Essence of Trust

I suppose this is anonymous as it circulates in emails and blogs, but if you know the original source please do let me know. It doesn't feel good not crediting this properly. =)

---

The Essence of Trust

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad, you hold my hand."

"What's the difference?" asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl, "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold us.

---

In Good Company

So, the last two weeks I was with my parents, and still with work. Just happened to be a bad time to take a leave, so I sneaked in some off time here and there. Worst was when I went to pick up my eldest sister from Batam, a day before the Hari Raya holiday. Thought it'd take the whole morning so I'd still be able to "show face" in the afternoon; it took me a full day instead. The queues! The traffic of Indonesians crossing over to Singapore for the week-long vacation was stunning. The immigration officers actually let me on the express lane, me being a pass holder, together with my sis, who's actually not. That saved us probably another two waiting/starving hours. I was so happy given the priority that when I related it to Yesie, she said, "Made you love Singapore [more than our homecountry] now?" =D

When I go home for holidays, it isn't hard to settle into the routines my mom had set up for years (daily laundry + home cooking + cleaning and other stuff moms do). Here living on my own, I've of course developed lazy habits (at best weekly laundry + home cooking + cleaning and other sloppy stuff moms don't quite approve). So during the period, having a real family in the single-living space kinda threw my balance off a little.

Nevertheless, it was a happy affair. =) Though there were times I felt quite guilty for being a horrible guide, given my horrible sense of direction. My father found the way around much better than me. But you see he gave his sense of direction to my eldest sis, and I got his book and music obsession instead. And my mother gave her sense of fashion to my second eldest sis, so she doesn't expect me to be of much help with the shoppings either. *excuses* But when I was contemplating this inside a store in Bugis, the shop happened to start playing Christina Aguilera's Beautiful, and then I felt much better. ;P Gotta love that song.

Now my parents are back home, and I'm back to my usual routines. Karaoke to start off. =D The Chinese horoscope my parents read said that our types tend to spend our money on hobbies; true enough it seems. ^^0

Then, I've wanted to watch The Prestige, but Eka wasn't interested, and my other friends who were interested had already watched it while my parents were here. This movie isn't really one I felt *really* compelled to watch, compared to say Dragon Tiger Gate or Death Note, for which I wouldn't mind going by myself if nobody else liked them. But yesterday I suddenly got the impulse, so I just went for it. =)

The last time I did this was for the Japanese film Nobody Knows (Dare mo Shiranai) two years ago. It was also the first time I went to a movie alone. Similar circumstances. At that time, I was much more of a single-fighter than I am now -- don't really remember, but I think I wasn't seeing Eka as often back then, and I hadn't joined my current badminton group. As Eka told me, she had thought I was so much of an independent girl in university; so she figured it wasn't such a big deal watching movies by oneself, and she started to do just that -- before we started being movie buddies, that is. In truth, I'd been going for a lot of things alone (classes/meals/shopping), but up until Dare mo Shiranai, movies were one thing I never went alone. A bit ironic, ya?

So I suppose my decision to go watch The Prestige alone was more to test out if I can still be as independent as I used to, when I need to be. After all, company is a blessing but getting dependent is a little scary. (Yeah, I'm individualistic like that.) Also I wanted to know how pathetic it really felt, actually -- that should just be our perception, shouldn't it? *convinces self*

As it turned out, patheticalness was not the issue so much as the genre. I might be fine watching movies alone, but perhaps not movies like The Prestige. I need the outlet. =P And it wasn't a good idea to watch it on the 9.30pm show either, but that was the best option I could get this late after the opening.

The movie was very good in its intrigues. Very dark and haunting. The violent scenes were not so much graphic as strongly suggestive, which just made them freakier. I was covering my mouth almost all the time. It didn't help that before the movie I was flipping through a book on "1001 Movies You Should Watch Before You Die" (something like that) that featured classic thrillers like Frankenstein and Dracula and even had a scene capture of *PG alert* someone's eyeball being sliced alive. XS

Anyway, I made it through, though I closed my eyes at the last scene for the absurd fear that Hugh Jackman's pale face would do something to frighten me. It wasn't like this was a horror or even something close like The Omen... Still, I navigated shakily through Great World City's rather confusing corridors (okay, that's just me) to find an exit that was still open (it was near midnight) and eyed random shadows warily until this morning -- but all in all it really was worth watching. =)

And to close off, one of my favourite songs that inspired the title. Maybe, one's best company is really oneself? Hm. =)

I love the best of you
You love the best of me
Though it's not always easy
Lovely? Lonely?

We will walk in good company

-- "The Valley", k.d. lang (Jane Siberry cover)

Otaku Night

So, watched Death Note today with Dave and co. For all my dissatisfaction, I'm still happy that I've gone to watch it. Do I love you because you're beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you? Maybe the otaku in me just doesn't want to dislike it. 6_6

Obsessed ramblings follow, so be warned. =) But before you leave... if you've watched this movie and decided that you didn't like it, don't be discouraged! Go get the anime or better still pick up the manga, I guarantee that's much much better!

Okay, now that that's out of the way. ^__^

Same scenes here and there, but to me it felt like everything was different. Just realized when Dave pointed it out, that they'd upgraded Raito from high school to college. Huehe. Speaking of which, how I wish they had released more than two episodes of the TV anime so I could've gone all otaku with Dave (he only followed the anime, which had not revealed much at this point). I think I've gone all otaku on him anyway. Huahauhau.

I still think the manga gave the best suspense for the introduction, the part of how Raito came into contact with the Death Note. The anime was very close but slightly different. The movie was not bad in that department actually, because the opening made you wonder what was going on (if you hadn't read anything about the plot or seen any trailers, that is...) but it felt rather all over the place for me. Come to think of it, it's probably a matter of flavour, ya? Manga-s do things in a certain way and movies another. And while I remember to mention -- they added a "How to Use It" rule that wasn't in the original story, didn't they? Can't remember what it was, though.

The romance bit was totally uncalled for... though it did provide a good twist. I mean, come on, this was not the Raito I know. Steady girlfriend? Basketball? He was supposed to be the intelligent type, but the way he was portrayed was more the popular type instead. I thought surely it was too much to make him good at basketball on top of everything else, but now I recall him being good at tennis in the manga. Um yeah, manga-s do get a bit dramatic too. ^^0 But he at least looked more like a tennis kinda guy than basketball! Huahuaha. I mean, you have guys like Kunimitsu Tezuka in Prince of Tennis! I remembered someone even parodied that tennis match between Raito and L, where Raito was cast as Fuji, PoT's in-house genius. Hilarious. =D But anyway, another story. ^^

Raito was much more of a villain in this movie. They did try to establish his motivation with the story about dropped criminal cases etc -- I don't know, it just didn't stick with me. Halfway through the story he became just a little more than an obsessed genius mass murderer. It was far better in the original story where he was more in touch (fed up, that is) with the "rotten world" around him. I don't mind the new version much; they were done quite well, I think. The resolution to Naomi's role was a twist good enough to replace the original full-of-tension encounter between her and Raito. The problem is that the original was already very good that you'd lament, "Why not have that?" =P

Also, this "first part" was apparently not the "first part" I drew the line on (the "L saga" in the manga), which covered a much longer story. At the pace the movie was going (i.e. pretty slow), they shouldn't have abbreviated things so much that they lost the purpose, for the sake of the unnecessary additions. But oh well, it's always easy to criticize. =D

To be fair, some points are better in this movie. Chief Yagami's personality stood out better, and he really delivered most of the whole story's morale.

The people at the theatre kept laughing whenever Ryuuku showed up. Ata said it was because of that dumb face, at least for people who wasn't used to it already from reading the manga. He was indeed entertaining, I guess. =D And I got to admire L's slim fingers. Huahah. He must be one happy actor, getting to eat all those delicious stuff for work. I heard his portrayal of L was praised, and I agreed that he did a very good job. Pity we didn't see enough of him here... yet. The modified plot development didn't quite give a punch on the wit exchange, somehow.

We stayed on after the credits to see if there'd be extra scenes. Indeed, there was... a trailer for Part 2. =D Part 2 of the L saga, that is. The "Second Kira arc", shall we call it. I don't think there'd be anything about M and N, and this second part is already titled The Last Name, as Dave said, so there probably won't be any more sequel. I'm not complaining though; the L saga is the most interesting part in my opinion. And if you know the manga ending to that part, maybe we all won't mind so much if they've changed the ending yet again. Which is what they'd probably do if they're not going to resolve the overall story with M and N. (Another The Departed case? But this is a Jap movie, so maybe they won't have qualms about not-so-happy endings ya? I haven't watched enough Jap non-anime movies to tell...)

Erm, do you think this whole writing is very obscure? Huehuehe. Trying to keep away from spoilers here.

Kay then. Work is still stormy so I'd better stop here now. ^^0

Happening

First time coming here without really anything to write about. =D *checks timestamp of last post* Eek, almost one month ya? Anyway, big deadline just passed. Not that I let such things stop me from writing *ahem* but I guess there just wasn't anything I wanted to urgently say. Was feeling quite pressurized before this, that sighs and huffs and hand-through-hair pretty much sum up what I want to let out. =D

So. Big deadline just passed. Who was it who said most of your work would be done one month before the deadline... very true in my case, heh. Actually, make that a week. Good thing my sup is as meticulous as me in writing (she once spent two hours on an abstract -- a paragraph, that is) or else she'd be hounding me for being so slow. I'm still a little shaky about the results, but I apply the usual tactic... what we can't justify, we bluff through. ^^0

Even got waken up by my sup's phone call this morning *hides* 'cause I missed her email last night and I overslept in compensation for the three-hour sleep I got the night before. Me lazy brat who can survive on four-hour sleep four days in a row (I believe that's the record) to stay up reading manga scans but not to edit academic papers. X(

So. Big deadline just passed. Someone's screaming that we've established that fact already. =D Immediately hopped into a taxi and not-so-successfully attempted to run through the Suntec crowd (difficult, I tell you) to watch The Departed with Eka. Felt quite bad that I made her miss the first few bits. Thot I'd be able to meet the deadline with some spare time, but apparently these things tend not to work that way. For future reference.

Anyway, I've watched Infernal Affairs and I loved it, so the fact that I don't hate The Departed (which really follows all major settings and plot flow of Infernal Affairs except the last part... if I remember correctly) may mean that the movie is actually very good. =D It has really interesting characters, even the minor ones, even the sidekick planted there for the sole purpose (or so I think) of tweaking the ending. The humour is also good.

Still, I like Infernal Affairs better. Maybe because I've watched it first. Maybe because the Chinese setting is more familiar. Maybe because it has Tony Leung. Hihi. *fangirl alert* I feel that Infernal Affairs established the background story better too, like the way they reveal the protagonist's identity, his touching relationship with the captain of police... and I think that extra ending in The Departed was unnecessary. Just to make the good guy win. I do think the romance in The Departed is done better -- I like that girl, while I cannot remember how it went in Infernal Affairs. Hmmm.

And oh, Leonardo looks more handsome with facial hair. Weird, I usually prefer the other way round, but I guess his clean face is just a bit too sweet for my taste. ...As if I had the pick. Right.

So. Big deadline... kidding. I'll spare you the overdose of repetitive style, though you could probably tell I myself am a sucker for it. ^^ So, after the movie, got Indonesian food for dinner and usual gossips/updates with Eka, then off to Chinatown for karaoke with Hady. =DD Plus all the tension before the submission deadline, what a happening weekend. When talking with Eka today we sort of mentioned how uneventful weekends were back in our undergraduate days, and that made me realize the extent of change I've gone through without really knowing it. *distant look* Time really does bring so much change so naturally.

So, next movie. Huaha. Death Note is opening next week! *yay yay yay* Must be the first movie I'm really waiting to be released. Actually, can't really figure out why. I've read the manga, I've recently heard from Dave that there's a TV anime version, I've downloaded and watched the first episode. And I'm still so excited over this live-action movie (that's how they call it). Must be a fangirl thing. =D And the more I look at the posters (quite surprised at how much publicity this is getting, considering it's a non-English movie) the more I like the actor who played L. Mwehehe. Plan to watch it on one of the coming weekdays, as my parents are coming to visit next Saturday.

Ah... life's so good. =D Another deadline end of this month, but what the heck. Fufufufufu.

Something Burning

I have faith in you, and I have trust in me.
I feel the pull of the river now and I want to go.
I hope you find your river soon and you meet me
when we have followed our rivers down to the sea.

-- Deb Talan, "Something Burning"


Looks like this Deb Talan is a singer/songwriter worth stalking. =) I love her straightforward lyrics in that whole album, though her tunes haven't hooked me yet. They seem to have a Jane Siberry flavour, which means, rather "weird" to me. But in Siberry's case some of that weirdness are pretty enjoyable, so I'm not giving up yet. ^_^

Outside Coming In

Watched The Banquet today with "the Medanese group". =D (No racist connotation, really!) The likely suspects who'd go for this kind of Chinese wuxia film, in short. Rimbun is a very good event organizer; the two movie outings I've had with him are well confirmed, meal-annotated, and SMS-reminder-ed. *thumb up*

Anyway, this group speak Hokkian, and I can only catch a little that's similar to Teochew, so they speak Indonesian to me, but "group discussions" are mostly in Hokkian. But take it easy folks (if you happen to read), I'm actually pretty content just listening and catching bits of foreign languages here and there just for the heck of it, so don't worry. =D

But even when language is not a barrier I'm just not much of a conversationist, I guess. I'm hopeless at making small talks, and I'm usually not sensitive enough to make the effort. =P Once, I had a meal with my housemate and her colleague whom she just introduced to me. I kinda assumed this colleague was well "taken care of" by my housemate, and since I had nothing to say, I didn't initiate much conversation. Later on I found out from my housemate that her colleague, being a very nice girl, was actually very concerned over what to say to me during that meal since I didn't give many openings. =PP

At that time I told myself to fix that, but I haven't been out with new people since so I've forgotten all about it. *slaps forehead*

Anyway, since no Eka to review the movie this time, I'll say something about it. =) It's the artistic type, so if you don't really enjoy this genre, not very recommended lah. But if you do, wow is this pretty. And not difficult to follow. It's quite bloody (sometimes unnecessarily excessive in my opinion) and violent and tragic, so brace yourself for it. Bits of sensuality here and there, so innocent eyes and minds (not mine, admittedly) please be warned. It's also very poetic, and it helpfully comes with both Mandarin and English subtitles, so I guess it'd be interesting to language enthusiasts. And good songs too.

All in all, I like it. The plot is captivating; maybe it helps not to read too many synopses before watching. The ending made me go "Whaaat?" at first, but if it's meant to convey what I thought it did, then I'm very impressed. There are also many a moral along the plot flow that made us all go "Well said!" =)

What impressed me further is how it bares to us the reality of human nature. We need to remember that this was the time of dynasties and emperors, when birthrights (and more importantly, how they are exercised) put one on a throne or at other people's feet or at assassins' swordpoints. Some characters are ruthless and I admire them for it, because that's much stronger than submitting to one-time emotions, though how pure their motives are I cannot tell. Some "change with the weather" and I think that's much wiser than losing one's life (and the whole clan's, as per the tradition in those times) and by that, accomplishing nothing. Not very noble on the surface maybe, but applying nobility also needs skillful means mah.

Anyway (this word is quickly becoming my favourite uttering), enough rambling on that. Called home after I'm back from the movie and asked my mum a "social" question. I.e. there's this kind of situation involving our relatives or general friends of the family, so do I need to do this and that? Her judgement and hunches have proved to be truly accurate time and again, but if I think of how I still need to employ my mother as my P.R. counsellor at this age, oh my.

Also, caught a snippet of that Fei Yu Qing's show on Channel 8 (?) this afternoon, and I thought of how my father would love it. Hoping to get my parents to come visit next month and hoping this show will still be airing till then. ^^

Hitting Close to Home

So, Jonathan Leong will be at the UCC at 5pm today. I did checked his blog this morning (as per Daniel Ong's instruction) because I was curious, but never thought I'd be receiving the confirmed news in my work/school email inbox. NUS Centre for the Arts asked for support for the event, as Jonathan is a member of the NUS Jazz Band.

It was also a surprise yesterday when I saw a poster beside the lift in my building, soliciting votes for Jasmine Tye because she turns out to be a "schoolmate", a Life Sciences 1st year. Strictly speaking, "less" of an NUS student than Jonathan (3rd year Political Science according to CFA's email) since I figured her being first year meant that she had missed all the lectures since the start of the academic year. Most probably they also have similar posters for Jonathan over at Arts Fac. Erm, not that year and faculty should be a factor in deciding who to vote for, ya. *disclaim disclaim*

Anyway, I hope they don't mind me discussing their, uh, academic life here. I'm just a little surprised at how such a commercial thing finds its way to a school I'm close with. I guess it's only me making that distinction.

So, being a half-fan of Jonathan (I voted for both finalists yesterday), I'm a little tempted to go, but decided not to since I don't know anyone else at school that can go fangirl/boy(?)-ing with me. Paiseh lah. =P Huaha.

Life's Not A B*tch, Life Is A Beautiful Woman

Got this from Lena's mailing list. Another of that life's-little-instruction-book thing, but here it is again because (1) I like; (2) who knows, you may not have read some of these before; (3) different points connect with different people at different times, or so I believe; and (4) speaking for my lazy self, I could certainly use some push in the right direction.

In particular that advice about saying no. *ponders*

---

25 Things I Wish I'd Known in My 20's
by Becky Waters


1. The only thing you have control over is yourself. Trying to control other people or things is a waste of time and energy.

2. Holding on to something or someone is the best way to lose it. The tighter the grip, the faster they run.

3. You create your life experiences one thought at a time. Thoughts affect perception, which affect choices, which create your life situation.

4. You are completely responsible for your life and how you choose to live it.

5. If you are unhappy with your situation, take action to change it.

6. How we feel matters. A thought with a feeling – a passion – behind it is like a beacon with a huge magnet shining out and drawing it to us.

7. Feeling sorry for yourself is addicting. It may be okay for a few minutes, but spending much more time than that will take you years – or decades – to recover from.

8. Whatever it is that we think about and give our attention to, we get more of. Even if we say we don’t want it.

9. That childhood saying about “stick and stones… and words can never hurt me” is a total lie and was created as a “nany-nany-boo-boo” to cover up the hurt that you’re feeling.

10. Every time you remember one of those “nany-nany-boo-boo” experiences and relive the hurt feelings, it is an opportunity for you to heal it and let it go. Buried feelings never die.

11. Giving and receiving are inseparable. They are two sides of the same coin.

12. In every human interaction, all anybody really wants is to be treated decently and with respect.

13. It’s okay to say “no” if you don’t want to do something. Saying nothing or being indecisive is the same thing as saying “yes”.

14. It is very important to be clear about what you want and what you don’t want. Otherwise, you spend a lot of time going in circles.

15. It’s okay to change your mind about what you want and don’t want – especially if what you thought you wanted is not working.

16. Happiness is an inside job. No one else can “make” you happy or unhappy, since happiness is mostly a matter of how we choose to perceive things and people.

17. Personal boundaries are not shackles. They’re a healthy sign of respect for ourselves and others.

18. We teach people how to treat us by the boundaries we set or don’t set.

19. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will either.

20. Follow Mom’s advice to “just be yourself,” but don’t be surprised if she doesn’t always approve of the “self” you choose to be.

21. Needing other people’s approval – even your parents’ – keeps you from beginning your real, true self.

22. There is enough of everything. It’s our fear of lack that keeps it from coming to us.

23. The first step to accomplishing anything is to believe in yourself and have the confidence to know that you matter.

24. You DO matter... everybody matters... or else we wouldn’t BE here in this world of “matter”.

25. The easiest way to get something is to ask for it. Then let go and allow the Universe bring it to you.

Wide Awake

The words are touching, and with the tune even more so, so go find this song. =)


Wide Awake
Vocal: Emi Fujita
Album: Camomile

The dawn breaks slowly in the east
as day defeats the night.
The echo of your voice that greets
the feeble morning light
is the only answer to my silent prayer
and promises I never make.
You are always with me, you're always there
in my dreams, though I am wide awake.

And sometimes a forbidden glance
will give my heart away.
The light that kindles our romance
may flicker through the gray.
All the gold and silver at the rainbow's end,
all earthly goods I will forsake.
For each shooting star, a wish I send;
and I dream though I am wide awake.

You were the rolling tidal wave
that swept my barren shores.
If you will let me share your day,
my life's forever yours.
I will never understand the reason why
we fail to learn from our mistakes.
I will wait for you as the days go by
with my dream, though I am wide awake.

Longer

I know whom I truly love
and they are few indeed.
It's worrying that of all people close to me
it isn't anything like this.
Does it really take twenty years
for feelings to go that deep?
Then I'd better start soon, if not already,
and take care lest I break the streak.

Stalking Cinema

Death Note is being made into a movie. Uwaaaah. =DDD

It's a two-part movie. Official site says part one is released June and part two November. In Japan, I assume. The Singapore release is 19 Oct for part one.

Now, hm, I want to watch. ^^; Then again, I've read the manga, and fans reviews of the movie are not very encouraging in terms of plot adaptation. Seeing how Eka felt about Harry Potter movies (which I didn't share since I haven't read the books) maybe I'll consider again when the time is near. =P

The reviews do praise the characters' portrayal, particularly L, who gets thicker eyeliner than Paul Twohill, but this one I readily forgive. =D (In the manga it's supposed to be eyebags, I think, unless I've been ignorant all this time.) It helps that Raito's character is already a bishounen (pretty boy) in the manga, because then the apparent tendency to cast pretty teenagers for manga-adapted movies/series is not much of a problem here. He kinda have to be handsome for the characterization to work, anyway. I recently saw the ad for the movie adaptation of Rough, and well yeah, I love Adachi's (adorably goofy) manga characters too much to tolerate the casts. Ah.

Anyway, it's a dark story. Trailer here. Shinigami Ryuuku is CG-ed and sufficiently ghostly, but I think I'll be able to handle that. =D Speaking of which I also got interested in How to Eat Fried Worms, a Fear Factor-ish kiddy comedy, but I've satisfied my curiosity with the trailers and I don't think I need to see more of those wiggly things on the wide screen, unless my movie buddy gets interested. ^^

But one definite stalking material is the tenor penguin with an accent (wonder who) in Happy Feet, opening end November. Been eyeing it since at least a month ago, heh.

And you know, by the end of this entry my mind is quite made up to go watch the movie that sparked this rambling. That probably means committing myself to the second part as well, unless I fail to adore Raito by the end of the first part, because part two will be the M/N saga already (i.e. no L). Am devoid of movies right now since there's not any that I'm particularly interested in, so three stalked movies don't seem too outrageous compared to my movie streak before this. Huaha.

Scientific Consensus

A trailer of the upcoming Al Gore movie:

An Inconvenient Truth

I would've been impressed, but unfortunately I once read this speech by Michael Crichton (disk posted the link on his MSN nick if I remember correctly) that has made me skeptical on that issue:

Aliens Cause Global Warming

Open issue, anyway. The below article + discussion gives quite a balanced perspective in my opinion:

'An Inconvenient Truth': Does This Look Like Consensus to You?

There are some (maybe uncalled-for) harsh words around in there, but get past those and there are pretty good points. And a lot of hyperlinks.

These are quite long articles but very interesting, so take your time. =)

Photo Update II

Should be the last update. Photos from Kathy up on the SF photo page.

Should've been up since the weekend but batch resizing is much easier with Microsoft Office Picture Manager that I don't have installed at home, only in the lab. I'm stealing time again to do this, so gtg now. =P

Local Potato

Lost the steam to scream about Mathilda's exit from Singapore Idol (having let out some in Eka's place) so this line is all I'm going to say about it. =P I wonder if they purposedly put the three best singers in the unsafe group each time? Getting old lah.

Aside from that, I'm getting more and more addicted to local shows, how dangerous. 0_0 Already rooting fervently for the yet-to-be couple in Channel 8 9pm drama. Then caught the ad for the 7pm one, "Eh, isn't that the guy who played Youfu? (Got very kind face.)" so I've been watching the first few episodes faithfully too, though I'll be skipping some for other appointments in the future. Bad for me that these are shown five days a week, so that's taking really much time, and even cause me withdrawal symptoms over the weekend sometimes... Well, ABC DJ is over, but in its place I've taken a liking to Maggi & Me, so. My current practice is to skip the blah-blah parts of Singapore Idol to reduce exposure to TV screen radiation (read: guilt).

...Right. Moving on...

I had a lot of rest this weekend, and that puts me in a "soft" mood, so here's a sweet verse from my Winamp "soft" mix. Originally by Ron Sexsmith, this song is covered by k.d. lang in her album "Hymns of the 49th Parallel" (very recommended).

The leaves have lost hold
of the branches as always,
which leaves us with gold-
and wine-coloured pathways.
In the same way I
In the same way I've fallen for you.

-- "Fallen"

Target Audience

Eka just lent me The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, so I hastened to finish my Tuesdays with Morrie so I could get started on it. =D

Just got to Chapter One, and I like it so far. It's the philosophical type like The Little Prince or Dune, which are fictions with quoteworthy* moral messages delivered as the story progresses. (Thanks Eka, and keep them coming! ^_^)

The below story, which particularly impressed me, is from the Preface.

---

Our Lady, with the Baby Jesus in her arms, decided to come down to Earth and visit a monastery. The monks proudly joined in a long queue, and each of them came before the Virgin to render their homage. One declaimed beautiful poetry, another showed his illuminated paintings of biblical subjects, a third repeated the names of all the Saints. And so on, one monk after another, praising Our Lady and the Baby Jesus.

The last monk of all there was the humblest in the whole monastery, who had never studied the learned books of the time. His parents were simple people, who worked in an old travelling circus, and all they had taught him was to throw balls into the air and juggle with them.

When it was his turn, the other members of the order wanted to bring the homage to a conclusion, since the old juggler would have nothing important to say, and might lower the image of the monastery. But in the bottom of his heart, he also felt a burning need to give something of himself to Jesus and the Virgin.

Ashamed, conscious of the disapproving looks of his brothers, he took a few oranges from his bag, and started to juggle them in the air, saying that juggling was all he knew how to do.

It was at that moment that the Baby Jesus, sitting on Our Lady's lap, smiled and started to clap his hands. And the Virgin reached out her arms, inviting him to hold the baby.

---

The dark horse thing is rather cliched, but I'm touched by the content. When we give, how much is for the other person and how much is for our ego? Ah, I've been fighting this for a long time. =P


* Reminded me of Gurney Halleck and his love of quotations and "flowery phrases". My kindred spirit, as Denny pointed out, which made him my favourite character. =D

Relocation

From the Dean's circular to students, sent out today: "...the plans for our relocation are now firm: SoC is scheduled to move to the building cluster comprising Law, parts of AS6, and Biz1 in two phases, beginning June 2007 and completing in June 2009."

The circular from the Office of the Provost gave more details on the phases: "Phase 1 of SoC’s move to Law, Law Library and some parts of AS6 will involve all teaching activities and some research labs, and Phase 2 will involve the remaining SoC research labs moving to BIZ1 building which BIZ school will vacate when its new building is completed, which is expected at end 2008."

Will have to change my transportation routine when that time comes, or pray that the phase involving me isn't until July 2008. =D Will depend on whether we get categorized as "some research labs" or "the remaining SoC research labs".

Smiles for Sale

A few days ago I wanted to catch up with Ms. Jacqueline (my former tutor) but didn't manage to find her after her class in CELC. So to make my visit to the Arts worthwhile, I went into the Forum Co-op to catch up with the new manga section instead. ^___^ *excuses*

All there are the Mandarin editions. One section is for sale while another section is for rent, S$1 per book. Found this out from the salesgirl, who talked to me seeing I was the only customer there at that time. ^^ I was only browsing, as I didn't intend to buy and the rental fee felt a bit expensive (that was around 20% of the book price, I think?) so I wasn't really interested when she suggested some titles and told me about the membership scheme and such, but she was pretty and friendly so I listened and talked to her, sort of, for fun. =P Anyway I thought the info might be useful in the future too.

Also the other day I was trying on a necklace without intending to buy, but again the salesgirl was nice and talkative and I was feeling like trying out those things, so I "humored" both of us. Now that I think about it, maybe I was in fact wasting their time and effort? Huehuehue. But it's their job anyway so I don't have to feel guilty ya? Like, better than being bored when no customers come? =D I felt that way when I was doing poster presentations (equals selling ideas what) but maybe not everybody share the same opinion ah.

Felt a bit guilty anyway for my shopping companions who would have to go on the wild goose chase with me... More reasons for (window-)shopping alone. =P But I'll still drag my sister to buy clothes with me, ha.

But back to the topic... No matter if the smiles and friendliness are just for business, I'm still drawn to those. Luckily I'm stingy enough to balance that. (Er, or maybe not? =P) In my recent trip to the U.S. I found that the salespeople were very friendly -- the moment I walked into their field of view they put on a big smile and asked, "Everything okay?" (In this case they meant "Anything I can help you with?" but I think it is quite a common, general greeting that can also mean "How are you?" sort of thing.) In one particular art store the salesgirl was a "metal" kind of girl with torn jeans and everything, so when she asked in her raspy voice, "Everything okay?" it frightened me a little =D but all was fine.

On a more recent news... went to NUS Rag Day today... but as usual I'm lazy to relate an event that I share with friends (maybe because the experience is already shared so I don't have that need to "vent"). So just wait for Eka's blog to be updated, since I'm sure she will put it in her next entry, and she is a better reporter/movie critic than me. =D In short, I'm very happy that KR won a lot of awards this year! ^^

One thing I do want to vent about, is about this auntie who told us, as we squeezed our way to a better part of the audience area, that we couldn't stand in a particular spot as it would block her view. Hm, complicated yah, since where do rights end and selfishness begin? I mean, from her perspective it must be irritating that three girls came later than her and stood in front of her, so she couldn't watch it sitting down anymore. Another group of people did that to us earlier and we felt a little irritated ourselves. But in a crowd like that, I didn't think we could really expect convenience (not VIPs weh) so we bore with it. Then was it that we should be considerate and not block her view or she should be considerate and let us watch from there? I tried to squeeze away from her as a compromise, and asked if the position was okay, but she didn't want to look at me anymore, so I also took offense. =P Erm, not feeling good about that la, but what to do... heh.

Photo Update

Updated the SF photo page with contributions from Ramkumar and the link to Gu Yan's album. Should start hounding some people for theirs... *hint hint*

Beautiful, Silently

Another bittersweet beautiful song.

---

I Cried For You
Vocal: Katie Melua

You're beautiful, so silently
it lies beneath a shade of blue.
It struck me so violently when I looked at you.

But others pass, they never pause
to feel that magic in your hand.
To me you're like a wild rose;
They never understand -- why

I cried for you,
and the sky cried for you,
and when you went I became a hopeless drifter.

But this life was not for you,
though I learned from you
that beauty need only be a whisper.


I'll cross the sea for a different world,
with your treasure, a secret for me to hold.

In many years they may forget
this love of ours or that we met;
They may not know how much you meant to me.

I cried for you,
and the sky cried for you,
and when you went I became a hopeless drifter.

But this life was not for you,
though I learned from you
that beauty need only be a whisper.


Without you, now I see
how fragile the world can be.
And I know you've gone away,
but in my heart you'll always stay.

I cried for you,
and the sky cried for you,
and when you went I became a hopeless drifter.

But this life was not for you,
though I learned from you
that beauty need only be a whisper,
that beauty need only be a whisper.

Pet Peeve

Somehow, I'm particularly irritated by small gestures of un-thoughtfulness:

- people who walk side by side on the pavement and do not bother giving way to pedestrians going on the opposite direction

- people who stand head-on at MRT doors and walk right in as it opens, so alighting passengers have to bump into them

- people who proceed to lean their whole backs on MRT poles without noticing/caring that there are fingers holding on to the poles (and in a moment of nastiness made me want to poke my nails into them, if only I had long nails and if these people looked clean enough =P)

I quite wonder about this myself. I mean, there are supposedly larger things I should have gotten irritated at but do not, so why am I so particular about these? Maybe because I was here when the government started off the courtesy campaign with all the posters starring Jack Neo in buses and MRTs some years ago? =P Hopefully I do not subconsciously do these things myself sometimes, ha.

SF Trip

The awaited photos. ^_^

Agonized for quite a while whether it was safe to include the ones with my mug shots and my friends'... but well, heck. =P I was probably too paranoid. Fussing over placements took me enough time as it was. Wondered if using services like flickr would actually be quicker than html-ing this thing as I did, as they probably automatically create the thumbnails for you and such. But I was too lazy to invest time on learning about them, and I imagine copying the photos to the school server would be much more hassle-free, if I refer to my experience with Yahoo! Briefcase.

Ramblings are included with the photo pages. In general, it was fun. Half-fun and half-anxious before my presentation, and pure fun afterwards. =D Learnt to "sell our stuff" to people. Pretty exciting and very heartening to really experience that, hey, there are people interested in what we're doing.

Also did the demo for the Chronos tool, one hour per day over four days. Was a bit shaky with the implementation details since I'm not the one who developed it -- but of course tried not to show it. =D The first "customer" happened to be a little familiar with the technical details and asked something I'd missed up on reading (uh-oh). Quickly went online and read the actual paper in the afternoon, but behold Murphy's Law, of course nobody asked me about that again afterwards. XD Just realized not having namecards was a loss in these kinds of events. Plan to talk to the office after this so I can "fish" better next time.

The fishing went on in other aspects too -- next to my demo spot was a group from Seoul University, and we had pretty nice chats when "business" was slow. Somehow I often bumped into one of the Korean guys, and he happened to be quite cute, mwuhuhuh, but then on the last day I found out he was married. Fuah. =D

Thought we were quite lucky too -- Kathy met two fellow Vietnamese in the workshop she attended, and these guys have been staying in U.S. for quite a long time, though in another state. They cordially took up the role of good hosts and drove us around, showing us places. I haven't expected much sightseeing because of our relatively short time outside the conference schedule, but amazingly we managed to squeeze in a lot of things. Well, actually we skipped some technical sessions to play in the exhibitions too. =D There were many booths holding lucky draws for xBox-es and iPod Nano-s, but we weren't so lucky. =( We still got freebies all around though.

My level of shamelessness was particularly tested in a booth that let people play darts. They gave out prizes (choosing between magnetic dart games or micrometers) if you could get 35 points or more within three tries. I played four times, so that's 12 tries, and 11 out of 12 I got zero (one throw went so far off the sides that the two guys manning the booth quickly backed away a few steps, and two throws broke the darts in two) but in the last one I accidentally hit a triple 15 and got me a micrometer. =DDD Because of that incident Kathy thought I had violence tendencies. Maybe all that badminton playing helps, huhuhuh. My aim has always been terrible anyways.

Strangely enough I sort of missed Singapore at some points there. Not Indonesia. Hueuhue. What I missed were the humid air, drinkable tap water, and take-it-for-granted safe neighbourhoods.

Air: San Francisco was cold even in the summer. The phrase of the week was "Here comes the wind". (Or maybe "What's happening?" but that's sort of an inside joke, so.) The cold of the aircon my jacket could handle, but once we stepped outside, the wind froze my fingers and my face, even while the sun was blaring. The dry air sort of hurt when breathed in, and I kept getting dried blood in my nostrils. So yeah, I still prefer to sweat under Singapore's hot weather.

Water: The hotel didn't give us free water supply, so we kiasu-ly snagged bottles of mineral water from the conference. When we went to a minimart some days later we found that the brand they'd given to us was actually an expensive one. (All mineral water brands were expensive there but this one was among the more expensive ones.) I thought, "Oh, lucky." My roommate thought, "Should have taken more." =D We're from Singapore all right. At the hotel we also tried both hot and cold approaches -- asked room service for (free) pots of hot water and cooled it off, and took (free) ice cubes from the dispenser and melted those off. Mwahahah.

Food: While there we ate at a Thai place, a Korean restaurant in Japantown, a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown, an Indian restaurant, and a Chinese express gourmet place. Their Chinese restaurants always gave us fortune cookies, something Asian Chinese restaurants never did, so it made me Wiki that thing, and now I know why. But -- how come still Asian food you ask? Hoehoehoe. Just for convenience, actually. We still ate at Western food places the most, like Subway, Denny's, Carl Jr, and one Italian restaurant. The meal portions were generally huge and I had to waste a lot of food. =P Funny thing was I felt very well-fed on the flights there, but on the return flights I kept getting hungry. Maybe the food portion was rubbing off on me? =PP

As I stepped back on Changi I actually felt quite happy despite the "holiday" being over. I think it's the familiarity and the level of confidence from knowing my ways around here. And after the long flight I just wanted to quickly get home. Back to work now, with some slacking as usual. ^^0

And finally, a little wishful thinking. Another of our submissions got accepted recently, a work I shared with a former colleague. This time the conference will be in Seoul, and wuh, I kind of want to be there. ^^ (And not because of the married cute guy earlier. The place I kinda wish to visit is actually Japan, so that induced this wish as Korea might be a close enough experience.) But I don't think I'll get to go there as I'm not confident with the field we're taking on in this submission, so most probably my supervisor will be the speaker. Of course I can still go on my own to attend it, but currently financial and time considerations are pointing to negative. =P Well, let's be positive and think that there'll be next time. =D

Co-op Scoop II

The Forum Co-op has a manga section now. =O slash drool... Suddenly the prospect of moving to Law Faculty doesn't seem all that gloomy anymore, aheheheh. (Huh, still far? I'll worry about that later.)

They were still arranging the shelves, so from a glance it looks like those are the Mandarin editions. Yeah, reading comics is good for language learning. =D (The Forum Co-op mainly serves the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences, in case you're wondering about the connection.) Last I checked (years ago, that is) Jap Studies department had original Japanese ones but I didn't recognize most of the titles. Doesn't matter actually, bookstores are hardly my main source of manga, nfu.

It didn't quite dawn on me how close I was to the departure date for the conference until these last two days when a lot of things suddenly cropped up at the last minute. The usual, the usual. -_-0 A little less anxious now that my sister will be staying over tomorrow night so she can see me off early Sunday dawn. My mom told her to, actually =D but still, at times like this it's so nice to have a sibling. Huehuehue.

Being Right or Being Happy

Got this good reminder from Nale. I took liberty to do some minor editing (can't resist =P).


Being Right or Being Happy

Being right or being happy is the choice I face. A line from a popular song "Hurts So Good" comes to mind. That musical refrain grabs my attention as I wrestle with feelings of anger and hurt. Being right feels so good; at the same time it causes much pain.

I can list all the ways in which I have not been treated fairly and have that self-righteous feeling which is satisfying because I like being right. But the price to be paid is mental anguish and it isn't just a one-time price. Like a toothache it remains until something is done about it.

A lifetime of conditioning makes it difficult to see that in every situation, we have a choice of how we act and think. The choice: spend endless hours in anguish as we come up with reason after reason to back up how right we are, or let go of the anguish and see that each person does about as well as s/he can. The universal is that fear, anger, hurt are behind each annoying behavior of another person. Perhaps compassion is the answer.

by Judy Walden


“Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It's not what they're not doing or should be doing that's the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is ‘out there’, stop yourself. That thought is the problem.”
-- Stephen Covey