Personality and Manifestations of It

Thoughts triggered by a conversation with Eka yesterday.

Say I have a carefree personality. It manifests in good as well as bad 'manners', for example, I rarely get angry at people, but I am also slack about the standards of propriety.

Say someone else has a strict personality. It manifests in desirable as well as undesirable traits, for example, he is disciplined in everything he does, but he is also unforgiving of others' mistakes.

If I were to stick to this, I'd say take it or leave it, accept me the way I am -- if you want a tolerant friend, then please bear with the slack standards too; if I want a well-mannered friend, then I shouldn't mind the harsh expectations in return.

However, by social survival instincts, I of course adjust my behavior in serious situations, in the presence of elders, and so on. My personality doesn't have to dictate everything I do.

My personality is not a perfectly deterministic algorithm, either -- I might be more tolerant of certain things and certain people than of others, purely by bias; I might be kinder at certain time and place than at others, purely by mood.

When such personalities as mine and the above-mentioned someone else clash, one immediate issue is about limit -- how far can I tolerate his ways, how much am I willing and able to tone down my own in front of him?

But there is apparently another issue that I realized when Eka said, "If this is how I am then it is no good if I cannot be myself in front of that person."

Even if I control the manifestations of my personality while we are getting along, will the other person discreetly wish that I will ultimately change? Even if I can afford the tolerance for the extent of his personality that manifest, will the knowledge at the back of my mind about the real personality be the thorn in the flesh that would explode one day?