Live Like You Were Dying

Was trying to find information on a car window lift controller application for my research, so I:

Google: car window lift state chart
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Amazon.com: Friday Night Lights [HD DVD]: "throws his State Championship ring out the car window]"
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IMDb: Friday Night Lights
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IMDb: Tim McGraw
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Google: Live Like You Were Dying

That's the way [my workday] goes, pop goes the weasel.

---

Live Like You Were Dying
~ Tim McGraw

He said,
"I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me,
and a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days looking at the x-rays
and talking 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time."

I asked him, when it sank in
that this might really be the real end,
"How's it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man, whatcha do?"

And he said,
"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter,
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
And he said, "Someday, I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dyin'."

He said,
"I was finally the husband that most the time I wasn't,
and I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all of a sudden goin' fishin' wasn’t such an imposition,
and I went three times that year I lost my Dad."

"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again.
And then--"

"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter,
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
And he said, "Someday, I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dyin'."

"Like tomorrow was a gift,
and you got eternity to think about what you’d do with it.
And what did you do with it?
And what can I do with it?
And what would I do with it?"

"Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And then I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter,
and I watched an eagle as it was flyin'."
And he said, "Someday, I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dyin'."

Seven Years Now

Haven't been feeling like blogging lately, hm. Only been posting articles for the past month. Writing did go on in some other area which is going to stay unpublished... so yeah. =D Then our Batch Five bunch had a reunion last weekend, which I felt like talking about now. =)

How the time goes by --
Suddenly, you’re wise.

We had a very fulfilling reunion this year -- attendance was record-breaking (ha) and we got more talks done as a whole group. This despite the lack of planning, in which we didn't manage to book the place we originally chose, and later found out it'd been out of business. 0_0 One closed-for-the-day makan place later, we finally got to Ayam Penyet @ Bugis -- lucky for us, unlucky for them -- because we wreaked quite a havoc there. =P

But our Big Walk (or should I say Hijrah, in the spirit of historical Indonesian soldiers) to the alternative destination actually gave us more time for interactions, so I suppose it was all good after all. =)

There’s still time for you,
time to buy and time to lose yourself within a morning star...

Photos in the collage below courtesy of vy and cheeto. The bad quality is to be blamed on me and my 10-minute Paint work. =P


Only one camera (not mine or cheeto's) had the photo with all of us in it, so I'll upload it once I get it. In the meantime, here's the Christmas decoration without us. ^^0


Afterwards we went to hang out near Singapore River, during which we brought up the subject of homosexuality, somehow. ^^ Turned out some of us had had a few culturally-shocking encounters. Naturally we then referred to religious beliefs, which our group had a good variety of. I personally was always apprehensive about this kind of situation, a mindset I wish to shed myself. =P So I was kinda glad we started on this discussion after all.

And this reminded me of a friend I used to comfortably have religious discussions before, despite our different religions. We kind of fell out of touch after graduation, so I guess I should try to catch up with him one of these days. =)

The sun is getting high,
we’re moving on...

Our anniversary this year was also marked by one sad occasion and one happy occasion. Life does go on for each of us, huh... Some of us have made the transition to the married life; some have gone back home to Indonesia. All of us have definitely changed one way or another, seven years from the time we first met; though we do enjoy pointing out the infamous traits that each other still carry through the years. Indeed, some things I really do hope we can get away with not growing up from.

There’s never a wish better than this,
when you only got a hundred years to live.

-- Five for Fighting, "100 Years"

Perfection Perception

By Eugene Loh
From A Slice of Life


Many of us conventionally accept this world as an imperfect one. Obviously, there is much unfairness and injustice. What about poverty, hunger, suffering and pain? And surely one cannot miss the ugliness, the violence, the wickedness?

Everyday, seemingly innocent lives are lost, best laid plans go awry, babies are born physically-handicapped, children charge into war zones with guns, hearts get broken, and loved ones fall ill.

Yes, things hardly look ideal, but is it possible that perfection does exist? And it's just waiting to be perceived, to be discovered?

An undeniable, hidden force moves this world. Call it God, call it Nature, call it the Law of the Universe; there is much debate over just what this unseen force is, but most people agree that it exists.

Sure, the sun could simply be rising and setting all by itself every day, but what of the bamboo fruits in a region of India that bloom once only every half a century? What about the perfectly-symmetrical snowflake? What's their motivation? What charts the movement of animals across continents, the clouds that bring rain just in time to parched lands, the waxing and waning of the moon?

Nature, or whatever you wish to call it, creates a perfect loop, a perfect circle. Human beings are also part of Nature; we are part of the loop. No matter how problematic our lives may appear to be, they must be part of the design.

When we see this natural world as a whole, our own problems become insignificant. Entire animal colonies can vanish overnight; what makes our work stress so terrible? Because it's happening to us, yes, but that doesn't mean there isn't stress, pain, and suffering everywhere else. Death and tribulation are part of the natural world. We are too small to perceive the perfect pattern, to follow the perfect loop all the way through.

The image of a beautiful blue sky and the picture of vultures ripping away at an antelope's rotting carcass may seem very distant from each other, but they're all microscopic threads that interweave through the Fabric of Life.

Similarly, the suffering, pain, death and heartache in our own lives may seem uncalled for, but they all have their place in the modus operandi of this world. In Richard Bach's book, "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah", the Messiah, Donald Shimodo, was lying in some meadow, gazing up at the sky with his pal Richard. Donald at some point asked Richard, "Is that a perfect sky, or should those clouds be changed somehow to make them more perfect?" Richard of course says yes, it's a perfect sky, how could it not be? And Donald Shimodo comes back with, "Well then, what makes you think that your life could be any less perfect than that sky?"

The Essence of Trust

I suppose this is anonymous as it circulates in emails and blogs, but if you know the original source please do let me know. It doesn't feel good not crediting this properly. =)

---

The Essence of Trust

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad, you hold my hand."

"What's the difference?" asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl, "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold us.

---

In Good Company

So, the last two weeks I was with my parents, and still with work. Just happened to be a bad time to take a leave, so I sneaked in some off time here and there. Worst was when I went to pick up my eldest sister from Batam, a day before the Hari Raya holiday. Thought it'd take the whole morning so I'd still be able to "show face" in the afternoon; it took me a full day instead. The queues! The traffic of Indonesians crossing over to Singapore for the week-long vacation was stunning. The immigration officers actually let me on the express lane, me being a pass holder, together with my sis, who's actually not. That saved us probably another two waiting/starving hours. I was so happy given the priority that when I related it to Yesie, she said, "Made you love Singapore [more than our homecountry] now?" =D

When I go home for holidays, it isn't hard to settle into the routines my mom had set up for years (daily laundry + home cooking + cleaning and other stuff moms do). Here living on my own, I've of course developed lazy habits (at best weekly laundry + home cooking + cleaning and other sloppy stuff moms don't quite approve). So during the period, having a real family in the single-living space kinda threw my balance off a little.

Nevertheless, it was a happy affair. =) Though there were times I felt quite guilty for being a horrible guide, given my horrible sense of direction. My father found the way around much better than me. But you see he gave his sense of direction to my eldest sis, and I got his book and music obsession instead. And my mother gave her sense of fashion to my second eldest sis, so she doesn't expect me to be of much help with the shoppings either. *excuses* But when I was contemplating this inside a store in Bugis, the shop happened to start playing Christina Aguilera's Beautiful, and then I felt much better. ;P Gotta love that song.

Now my parents are back home, and I'm back to my usual routines. Karaoke to start off. =D The Chinese horoscope my parents read said that our types tend to spend our money on hobbies; true enough it seems. ^^0

Then, I've wanted to watch The Prestige, but Eka wasn't interested, and my other friends who were interested had already watched it while my parents were here. This movie isn't really one I felt *really* compelled to watch, compared to say Dragon Tiger Gate or Death Note, for which I wouldn't mind going by myself if nobody else liked them. But yesterday I suddenly got the impulse, so I just went for it. =)

The last time I did this was for the Japanese film Nobody Knows (Dare mo Shiranai) two years ago. It was also the first time I went to a movie alone. Similar circumstances. At that time, I was much more of a single-fighter than I am now -- don't really remember, but I think I wasn't seeing Eka as often back then, and I hadn't joined my current badminton group. As Eka told me, she had thought I was so much of an independent girl in university; so she figured it wasn't such a big deal watching movies by oneself, and she started to do just that -- before we started being movie buddies, that is. In truth, I'd been going for a lot of things alone (classes/meals/shopping), but up until Dare mo Shiranai, movies were one thing I never went alone. A bit ironic, ya?

So I suppose my decision to go watch The Prestige alone was more to test out if I can still be as independent as I used to, when I need to be. After all, company is a blessing but getting dependent is a little scary. (Yeah, I'm individualistic like that.) Also I wanted to know how pathetic it really felt, actually -- that should just be our perception, shouldn't it? *convinces self*

As it turned out, patheticalness was not the issue so much as the genre. I might be fine watching movies alone, but perhaps not movies like The Prestige. I need the outlet. =P And it wasn't a good idea to watch it on the 9.30pm show either, but that was the best option I could get this late after the opening.

The movie was very good in its intrigues. Very dark and haunting. The violent scenes were not so much graphic as strongly suggestive, which just made them freakier. I was covering my mouth almost all the time. It didn't help that before the movie I was flipping through a book on "1001 Movies You Should Watch Before You Die" (something like that) that featured classic thrillers like Frankenstein and Dracula and even had a scene capture of *PG alert* someone's eyeball being sliced alive. XS

Anyway, I made it through, though I closed my eyes at the last scene for the absurd fear that Hugh Jackman's pale face would do something to frighten me. It wasn't like this was a horror or even something close like The Omen... Still, I navigated shakily through Great World City's rather confusing corridors (okay, that's just me) to find an exit that was still open (it was near midnight) and eyed random shadows warily until this morning -- but all in all it really was worth watching. =)

And to close off, one of my favourite songs that inspired the title. Maybe, one's best company is really oneself? Hm. =)

I love the best of you
You love the best of me
Though it's not always easy
Lovely? Lonely?

We will walk in good company

-- "The Valley", k.d. lang (Jane Siberry cover)

Otaku Night

So, watched Death Note today with Dave and co. For all my dissatisfaction, I'm still happy that I've gone to watch it. Do I love you because you're beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you? Maybe the otaku in me just doesn't want to dislike it. 6_6

Obsessed ramblings follow, so be warned. =) But before you leave... if you've watched this movie and decided that you didn't like it, don't be discouraged! Go get the anime or better still pick up the manga, I guarantee that's much much better!

Okay, now that that's out of the way. ^__^

Same scenes here and there, but to me it felt like everything was different. Just realized when Dave pointed it out, that they'd upgraded Raito from high school to college. Huehe. Speaking of which, how I wish they had released more than two episodes of the TV anime so I could've gone all otaku with Dave (he only followed the anime, which had not revealed much at this point). I think I've gone all otaku on him anyway. Huahauhau.

I still think the manga gave the best suspense for the introduction, the part of how Raito came into contact with the Death Note. The anime was very close but slightly different. The movie was not bad in that department actually, because the opening made you wonder what was going on (if you hadn't read anything about the plot or seen any trailers, that is...) but it felt rather all over the place for me. Come to think of it, it's probably a matter of flavour, ya? Manga-s do things in a certain way and movies another. And while I remember to mention -- they added a "How to Use It" rule that wasn't in the original story, didn't they? Can't remember what it was, though.

The romance bit was totally uncalled for... though it did provide a good twist. I mean, come on, this was not the Raito I know. Steady girlfriend? Basketball? He was supposed to be the intelligent type, but the way he was portrayed was more the popular type instead. I thought surely it was too much to make him good at basketball on top of everything else, but now I recall him being good at tennis in the manga. Um yeah, manga-s do get a bit dramatic too. ^^0 But he at least looked more like a tennis kinda guy than basketball! Huahuaha. I mean, you have guys like Kunimitsu Tezuka in Prince of Tennis! I remembered someone even parodied that tennis match between Raito and L, where Raito was cast as Fuji, PoT's in-house genius. Hilarious. =D But anyway, another story. ^^

Raito was much more of a villain in this movie. They did try to establish his motivation with the story about dropped criminal cases etc -- I don't know, it just didn't stick with me. Halfway through the story he became just a little more than an obsessed genius mass murderer. It was far better in the original story where he was more in touch (fed up, that is) with the "rotten world" around him. I don't mind the new version much; they were done quite well, I think. The resolution to Naomi's role was a twist good enough to replace the original full-of-tension encounter between her and Raito. The problem is that the original was already very good that you'd lament, "Why not have that?" =P

Also, this "first part" was apparently not the "first part" I drew the line on (the "L saga" in the manga), which covered a much longer story. At the pace the movie was going (i.e. pretty slow), they shouldn't have abbreviated things so much that they lost the purpose, for the sake of the unnecessary additions. But oh well, it's always easy to criticize. =D

To be fair, some points are better in this movie. Chief Yagami's personality stood out better, and he really delivered most of the whole story's morale.

The people at the theatre kept laughing whenever Ryuuku showed up. Ata said it was because of that dumb face, at least for people who wasn't used to it already from reading the manga. He was indeed entertaining, I guess. =D And I got to admire L's slim fingers. Huahah. He must be one happy actor, getting to eat all those delicious stuff for work. I heard his portrayal of L was praised, and I agreed that he did a very good job. Pity we didn't see enough of him here... yet. The modified plot development didn't quite give a punch on the wit exchange, somehow.

We stayed on after the credits to see if there'd be extra scenes. Indeed, there was... a trailer for Part 2. =D Part 2 of the L saga, that is. The "Second Kira arc", shall we call it. I don't think there'd be anything about M and N, and this second part is already titled The Last Name, as Dave said, so there probably won't be any more sequel. I'm not complaining though; the L saga is the most interesting part in my opinion. And if you know the manga ending to that part, maybe we all won't mind so much if they've changed the ending yet again. Which is what they'd probably do if they're not going to resolve the overall story with M and N. (Another The Departed case? But this is a Jap movie, so maybe they won't have qualms about not-so-happy endings ya? I haven't watched enough Jap non-anime movies to tell...)

Erm, do you think this whole writing is very obscure? Huehuehe. Trying to keep away from spoilers here.

Kay then. Work is still stormy so I'd better stop here now. ^^0

Happening

First time coming here without really anything to write about. =D *checks timestamp of last post* Eek, almost one month ya? Anyway, big deadline just passed. Not that I let such things stop me from writing *ahem* but I guess there just wasn't anything I wanted to urgently say. Was feeling quite pressurized before this, that sighs and huffs and hand-through-hair pretty much sum up what I want to let out. =D

So. Big deadline just passed. Who was it who said most of your work would be done one month before the deadline... very true in my case, heh. Actually, make that a week. Good thing my sup is as meticulous as me in writing (she once spent two hours on an abstract -- a paragraph, that is) or else she'd be hounding me for being so slow. I'm still a little shaky about the results, but I apply the usual tactic... what we can't justify, we bluff through. ^^0

Even got waken up by my sup's phone call this morning *hides* 'cause I missed her email last night and I overslept in compensation for the three-hour sleep I got the night before. Me lazy brat who can survive on four-hour sleep four days in a row (I believe that's the record) to stay up reading manga scans but not to edit academic papers. X(

So. Big deadline just passed. Someone's screaming that we've established that fact already. =D Immediately hopped into a taxi and not-so-successfully attempted to run through the Suntec crowd (difficult, I tell you) to watch The Departed with Eka. Felt quite bad that I made her miss the first few bits. Thot I'd be able to meet the deadline with some spare time, but apparently these things tend not to work that way. For future reference.

Anyway, I've watched Infernal Affairs and I loved it, so the fact that I don't hate The Departed (which really follows all major settings and plot flow of Infernal Affairs except the last part... if I remember correctly) may mean that the movie is actually very good. =D It has really interesting characters, even the minor ones, even the sidekick planted there for the sole purpose (or so I think) of tweaking the ending. The humour is also good.

Still, I like Infernal Affairs better. Maybe because I've watched it first. Maybe because the Chinese setting is more familiar. Maybe because it has Tony Leung. Hihi. *fangirl alert* I feel that Infernal Affairs established the background story better too, like the way they reveal the protagonist's identity, his touching relationship with the captain of police... and I think that extra ending in The Departed was unnecessary. Just to make the good guy win. I do think the romance in The Departed is done better -- I like that girl, while I cannot remember how it went in Infernal Affairs. Hmmm.

And oh, Leonardo looks more handsome with facial hair. Weird, I usually prefer the other way round, but I guess his clean face is just a bit too sweet for my taste. ...As if I had the pick. Right.

So. Big deadline... kidding. I'll spare you the overdose of repetitive style, though you could probably tell I myself am a sucker for it. ^^ So, after the movie, got Indonesian food for dinner and usual gossips/updates with Eka, then off to Chinatown for karaoke with Hady. =DD Plus all the tension before the submission deadline, what a happening weekend. When talking with Eka today we sort of mentioned how uneventful weekends were back in our undergraduate days, and that made me realize the extent of change I've gone through without really knowing it. *distant look* Time really does bring so much change so naturally.

So, next movie. Huaha. Death Note is opening next week! *yay yay yay* Must be the first movie I'm really waiting to be released. Actually, can't really figure out why. I've read the manga, I've recently heard from Dave that there's a TV anime version, I've downloaded and watched the first episode. And I'm still so excited over this live-action movie (that's how they call it). Must be a fangirl thing. =D And the more I look at the posters (quite surprised at how much publicity this is getting, considering it's a non-English movie) the more I like the actor who played L. Mwehehe. Plan to watch it on one of the coming weekdays, as my parents are coming to visit next Saturday.

Ah... life's so good. =D Another deadline end of this month, but what the heck. Fufufufufu.

Something Burning

I have faith in you, and I have trust in me.
I feel the pull of the river now and I want to go.
I hope you find your river soon and you meet me
when we have followed our rivers down to the sea.

-- Deb Talan, "Something Burning"


Looks like this Deb Talan is a singer/songwriter worth stalking. =) I love her straightforward lyrics in that whole album, though her tunes haven't hooked me yet. They seem to have a Jane Siberry flavour, which means, rather "weird" to me. But in Siberry's case some of that weirdness are pretty enjoyable, so I'm not giving up yet. ^_^