Three Worlds

Saturday turned out very eventful. Even surreal, if only I'd been more of an imaginative person. =P I was out for about twelve hours and spent the whole time (that wasn't transportation) at one place, the National Library Building.

(1)st there was EOY 2009, the only premeditated event of that day. EOY is an annual "Japanese cross-cultural event" with the main focus on cosplay. I was aware of this event only this year because DIsk took part in the artwork section. Took some photos but I'm not sure about the publishing rights so not posting here..

I'm not unfamiliar with cosplay, but it was my first time experiencing it in person, though only as a spectator, of course. =D I hope people were not interpreting my uncontained grins as any ridiculing gesture. I was simply wow-ed that this thing I'd been seeing in fandom was actually happening where I lived.

It's a pity that I'm no longer that much of an anime fan, so I missed about half the references there. Those I did recognize are mostly the older titles that are still ongoing or have current sequels, and from these some I only know on the surface. Well, there were FMA, Naruto, Tenipuri, Bleach,... Ah, one exception, which was also a nostalgic sight I hadn't expected, was a girl dressed up as Suu from CLAMP's Clover, complete with the pretty wings. I used to love that type of fantastic angst, ahaha. Exception because the manga has ended cleanly (, beautifully, tragically) as far as I know; would love to know if there is continuation of any kind as I'll probably still be somewhat drawn to it...

The most impressive costume I saw was that of Lv Bu from The Three Kingdoms, with his fitting large built and spears in both hands. Also, cute Doumo-kun made an appearance!

Other highlights include the cosplay competition, whose participants were actually only a small subset of total people who cosplayed at the event, and anime music performances, which featured some amazing vocalists. The MCs, while giving me the impression as not being otaku-s themselves when they misread the names in the Bleach quiz questions, did exhibit the entertaining bluntness I've been seeing on Japanese TV by honestly admitting, "OK, it's time for lame jokes, as we need to stall time here while the next performer gets ready!" xD (I don't know, maybe it's an universal thing, just that I rarely watch non-Japanese shows nowadays.)

I found it odd that they delayed the single last contestant until after yet another half-hour break. There were exhibitions and merchandise + artwork booths we could patronize during these breaks, but the most important activity was to go around spotting the cosplay characters and taking photos of them (procedure: ask permission, wait for them to pose, snap, say thank you). The crowd grew larger in the afternoon and it became very difficult to move around, so I decided to leave before the end.

That led to the (2)nd experience of the day whereby I got tempted to venture into the lending area of the library. I'm not a member, so I didn't intend to borrow any book, only browse around to see if I could find any Grisham book I hadn't read. (I used to follow John Grisham quite closely throughout the period of my life when I was attending schools with such accommodating libraries, but have missed quite a lot since then.) Well, the only one I hadn't read that wasn't on loan from the branch happened to be "The Testament", so I settled with that.

Long story short, I ended up staying in the reading area finishing the novel in 5 hours. Would have taken longer if the library hadn't had to close at 9pm. xD It's been a while since I finished a full novel in one sitting! I was too lazy to apply for borrowing rights, so 15 minutes before the library closed I started skimming through the remaining pages, practically reading only the first line of each paragraph. Since I couldn't take the book out (or didn't try to find a way to...) I also skipped dinner and forgot about toilet breaks but did wish I had brought a jacket when the room felt colder as night came. =PP

Since I had also been lazy to hunt for food during the cosplay event, I'd brought three slices of pandan bread along, and had taken two out of those for lunch. xD (Taken another two for breakfast before leaving home, as well.) Now, exiting the library, I was eager to get to the bus stop so I could start munching on the last remaining piece, but--

The (3)rd, last, and strangest adventure happened not far from the exit when an elderly man called out to me, "Do you speak English?" I found it a bit strange since he looked Asian -- I mean, I mostly expect Caucasians to ask that question and expect Asians to ask if I speak Chinese... though come to think of it the Asians I've encountered so far haven't been asking that question but rather just shot their questions directly in Mandarin because I look Chinese. =PP

But I digress. The man introduced himself as a spiritual traveler (forgot his exact term) from Tokyo. At this point my cautiousness about "speaking to strangers" (and the hunger) was overcome by the thought of "oh, might be interesting to talk to him". =D; He said he wrote books and was trying to find publishers for them. He told me the content of his books and asked my opinions about his choices for the titles. Since I'm just as fussy about words and titles, I kind of didn't mind discussing that with him.

My cautiousness returned when he asked if I wanted to buy any of his books. But having some interest in literature myself, I thought it was quite a worthy 'cause' even if he turned out to be a swindler, so I took his short story collection and gave him ten dollars. ^^0 He later 'threw in' a printout of his poems on Hiroshima and several pages of haiku.

Just before I wrote this post I did some Google search based on the name printed on his books, and found this page. That was him all right, Asano Hideo-san. The listing on Amazon also confirmed the books he talked to me about.

The page I linked above has the information and links about him, and I've also left a comment summarizing the conversation we had. Well, 'racist' is quite a fitting description, but I do think most humans are 'racist' in their own way to some extent, though to be fair I happened to be outside the groups he spoke against, so I could afford to be neutral about it. =| He was definitely stereotyping and being rather hard-headed about it, too, though I could mostly comprehend the contributing factors to his opinions.

I'm avoiding sensitive issues here xD so just one relatively safe example, maybe. He was disappointed that the locals he met had not even recognized such names as Hemingway (his favourite author) or Nietzsche or Kant. I happen to know these people from the quotations I like to read, but I did tell him I hadn't actually read their books. He was quite pleased, anyway, and apparently he had also met another Indonesian (from Jogjakarta, he said) who was literature-aware, so he wondered what motivated our thinking beyond money/business that seemed to be the 'theme' in this country. =PPP Well yeah, I told him things might be different if he had asked the locals who majored in arts, and no matter where we came from I guess those with no interest in literature will still not recognize those names? xP I suppose it's just because he has a bias for the field he loves.

All in all, a very interesting encounter. Not sure if I'd be comfortable meeting another like him or having another one-hour conversation the next time I bumped into him... but the 'flavour' of his inquisitive thinking is indeed similar to mine. I mean, there are matters that I simply don't care much about, and when some critical people question this and that about those matters I'd be like, "What's the big deal?" =PP But he was close to a kindred spirit, if maybe rather extreme about it.

And that was how my Saturday went. Twelve hours, five slices of bread, three worlds, one venue. xD (Indulge me, it's big enough for my scale LOL.)

The Sun Also Shines at Night

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! I'm really bad at wishing people these things since I'm not much for celebrations myself. =P Also feeling a little 'delinquent' the past week, I guess, wanting to just take care of my own worries and left with little mental energy to deal with other things.. even though I have time to spare, in the end. Ah, forgive my selfishness, despite this being the season of sharing and all. -_- Well, I still went to gatherings I've committed to and those I chose to commit to and hopefully behaved acceptably sociably? Ahaha.

The above-mentioned worries have also led me to clear my schedules for the long weekends in case I need to take care of them, but I end up free anyway, so I went for a last-minute-planned lunch and second-hand bookstore cruising with DIsk today. The latter itinerary item was again my selfish quest since I've had my eye (and occasional yearning thought) on a book in Bras Basah Complex for two weeks. I didn't buy it when I first spotted it because (1) it was bulky to take to my next agenda, and (2) I needed time to succumb to the temptation and tell myself I could afford to stuff my room with one more collectible item. =)P

There it is, my latest 36x44cm hardcover full-colour baby. ^^ The pic was actually taken at the store that first time when I didn't buy it yet (for reminder mah), hoho. DIsk said it was a geeky purchase, but what seduced me are more the high-resolution, pretty images inside. So much better for drooling and gushing over, while the knowledge aspect could probably be obtained freely and more extensively on the internet, fufufu.

With this event tomorrow, seems I will have a quite eventful Christmas weekend after all. We'll see about the New Year weekend when it comes. There are still issues left to handle but time is really an unbeatable factor right now, and much as I am easily bothered by indeterminately pending plans, I do detach myself quite well... even if I do say so myself, ha. I sense that some are thinking this is 'cold' of me, and I'm still not enlightened enough not to bother about such opinions, but I reevaluate my (saturated) considerations and reaffirm this growing courage for self-expression that seem to come with age, and well... things are okay somehow? xD

In response to Eka's encouragement I said that it wasn't really in my belief to 'pray', but leaving the perspective difference aside, I.. we.. do draw on many sources of strength-- the kindness of people from close friends to gracious strangers, every little thing however silly or earthly that help to lift our spirits, my own faith in life and powers unseen-- a litany of my own definition, maybe?

Litany

i see the moon, the moon sees me
the moon sees the ones i cannot see
please let the light that shines on me
shine on the ones i love.

be strong.

Be Gentle With Hearts, You Cannot See Them

Maybe he deserves it,
Maybe she brings it upon herself,

Maybe it's trivial,
Maybe it's exaggerated,

But so long as it is felt,
Pain is pain.


Assume nothing of hearts;
You cannot see them.

Be respectful of hearts;
You cannot tell how weak, how strong.

Be gentle with hearts;
You may not know when they're breaking inside.

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, "The Little Prince"
As translated by Katherine Woods

Days of Leisure

Back from a two-day cruise trip. =) Star Cruises to Malacca/KL, with sis and bro-in-law. As what would usually be called a 'getaway', but I went more for the experience rather than the need for escape, since I think I enjoy my routine life all right, ahaha.

So, obligatory trip photos and accompanying rambling...


Well, first of all, our cabin door, though this photo was taken just before checking out. =D I like the green color of it (hence the photo; not for any 4D adventures), but it's not coming out right in this photo because of the lighting right above it. =|

Didn't spend much waking hours in there of course, but since the TV had a Japanese channel, NHK, I tuned in for a while to see if I see anyone I know. =)P


We tried to catch the sunrise on the first day, but the clouds were so thick we didn't really see much. Still, I think the clumpy pinkish clouds were 'cute', and the sky-horizon-sea view was one of the best highlights of the trip to me.


We missed the timing on the second day, but at least still not too late to see this beautiful view:


So delighted was I, that I asked to be photographed with it (the only one with my face you're going to see on this page lol)...


...and proceeded to take the pictures of the sun rays falling on various objects...



That last one also showed the jacuzzi, which we specifically planned for using. =D Sounds a bit kampung (sepok) huh. LOL.


Water slide, and yes, I did get on it. =D; Was of course "don't want, scary, can't swim" on the first day when my bro-in-law braced the long queue for it twice, but the next day he managed to convince all of us that it was definitely safe. Well, since we were already in our swim wear after the jacuzzi, after ascertaining the harmlessness of the water trap at the end of the ride, we finally went.


Luckily we listened to him, because it was wonderful to be sliding through the view of open sky at those parts. =D; Well, this morning I found out there was also a water slide beside the Jurong West Sport and Recreation Centre, which should be more accessible than the cruise. =)


More things by the pool side. These made me think of R2-D2 so they got a camera share. =D


Also thought that looked scientific, even if the reflection on the glass cover was a bit distracting. You could see my camera-holding hands reflected on it too, ahaha.


If you've seen my excessive photographing of the sky before, hopefully this won't seem too random. I thought the wave patterns were pretty...


...and pretty thought-provoking, too. Seeing the white bubbles race forward and then disappear, it was like a reminder of: 'Life is transient, so how far can you go before it ends?'

The land of destination was Malaysia, where we only spent 3 hours. Shopping, of course. >:D No pictures from the mall since we were pretty much in a rush, lol.


So, how different was Malaysian sky? Maybe not much difference, but it felt 'gentler' to me somehow. As in, the blue is of a lighter shade, so less contrast with the clouds' white.


Nearing dusk, adorned with the sudden gush of birds...


The best highlight of the trip was unfortunately something I couldn't take a picture of. At night, out at sea, the sky was a darker dark, and the stars seemed so near. Felt like I was face to face with Orion (which gave me the urge to sing that Nakashima Mika song to it everytime, lol), and I wished I had studied more of the constellation map to recognize those around it. Three-quarters of that dream fulfilled now...? (Yeah, I'm easy.)

At one time I was standing at the darker side of the ship, facing the part of the sky that had no visible stars. Before that I had thought it would be nice to have an undisturbed view of the sky, but at that time it actually felt a little scary to be looking at the pitch black without any 'grounding' object at the corner of my eyes.

Anyway... since my camera couldn't capture those, I took photos of the night lights and their gorgeous reflection on water instead...


On our last night onboard, they held a 'farewell party' with chocolate buffet (if only we had more stomach space after all the buffet dining throughout the day!) and a cool band performance. They captured my attention with an impressive Christmas medley a cappela, and performed some swing-y songs I didn't recognize but happily swayed along to anyway.


Remember the R2-D2 from before? Those turned out to be light projectors for this stage. =D


This photo was taken from a weird angle as I was actually starting to leave already, thinking it was getting late. But halfway to the cabin they stayed my feet with the catchy 'Summer of 69', followed by other rock classics, and even slipped in that famous 'Nobody'. xD


The trail we blaze left as we were nearing Singapore.


And a last picture of the sky, just because. >:D

More photos on the Facebook album here. In the past I'd make a page on my website for easier organization, but I won't have access to it for much longer, so I'm withdrawing little by little. =P

男になりたい

『夢をかなえるゾウ』ドラマに、「男になる」という課題が出た。（主人公は女性。）
興味深いですけど、自分は「女らしい処も  男らしい処も  両方も持ってでいい」ような信念だよね。
でも —



他に（女性の）KK 二人のファンから聞いた:「男性なら、剛のソロからを紹介するでいい。」
その「剛のソロ」というの音楽はね、funky でなければ、超 emo だ。
ある時そのタイプは本当にダメだよ、私によると。演奏が凄く良いと思うけども。

...ですから、「ちょっと、男になりたいなあ」と思った。
少しだけ知っておきたい —
男性なら、どんな目線に彼を見つめる？どんな感じで？
暗いがよい？
こちと同じ意見、そのような人間が  素敵ですか  不思議ですか？

これ、変？（笑）

Glorious

So this is what it feels like;
This is how it feels when you're finally walking on the inside.
This is what it looks like;
This is how it looks from the outside staring in.

"Are you in love lately?" she asked,
which I thought was strange, back then,
but she might have read it right after all, because

the sky throughout November
has been the prettiest I've seen of her,

these dreams I'm now courting
might have been flirting with me all along, unnoticed,

and a long-time adoration I thought was flawed
is turning out capable of stirring in me, emotions
as profound as gratitude.

So who cares if the attraction is superficial,

when I finally get a glimpse of the world inside
and with such clarity,

when I'll take without hesitation, a choice inferior, yet
unfailingly beloved;

this freedom it has dared me to take
if maybe too shallow to call happiness,

is still pretty close to

light.

Fuyu no Seiza Orion

Thanks to the long downpour that cleared the sky, and the big bright full moon that drew my attention up there, half my wish has been fulfilled today. xD The stars were so visible tonight!

[Edit 7 Dec 2009:] Thanks to the timing I exited the building too probably; these days they seem to come out to play around 10pm.

I've always wondered how people can identify constellations when the positions always seem so vague to me. =P After a bit of digging I think the one I saw is Orion, judging from the three in the lineup plus the trapezoid corners:

Picture courtesy of christiancyberspace

Even with just a small piece like this, among the intrusions of the now-too-bright, now-too-dense street lightings of this city, it felt pretty amazing. =) Not as interesting as the ever-changing view of the sky when it is rich with colors, but there is a different kind of amazement in the vast darkness, the way the stars go in and out of sight as our vision adjusts to different regions of that darkness.

(I still want to go to a well-built planetarium someday for an even more profound emotion, weird as it may sound after this non-artificial experience. =D)

Now while my adrenalin is settling down, here are some constellation-themed songs! ^__^


Nakashima Mika, "ORION" [Ryuusei no Kizuna OST]




Otsuka Ai, "Planetarium" [Hana Yori Dango OST]




Onitsuka Chihiro, "Ryuuseigun" (Meteoric Swarm) [Trick II OST]




And lastly, an old-time favourite of mine:

OMD, "Walking on the Milky Way"

Lyrics Roll

So I dumped a few (newly acquired / long neglected) folders on Windows Media Player, and sorted the songs by track numbers, then a few interesting lines got caught on my hearing as they drifted on---


Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me? It's not the first time, it's not the worst crime; your soul will be okay. Live high, live mighty, live righteously, taking it easy. If you don't know, then you can't care.

And that's why I don't drink and drive, because, good grief, I'd knock out my teeth and have to kiss my smile goodbye. You walk around here, thinking you're not pretty. And I take everything from you, but you'll take anything, won't you?

You make me think of someone wonderful, but I can't place her. You'd think me rude but I would just stand and... stare. See, love will never ever be lost on me.

All right, sit down and spill your heart. Is that the light at the far end of the tunnel, or just the train? ...And don't mind my nerve, you could call it fiction.