Unsettled Dust

the many ways
to plant your presence
in somebody's life,

the little things
to remind you
of something out of reach,

oh my,
how it's going to suck
when all this is over.

City of Nine Million Bicycles

After the most unprepared-for trip in my life so far, here I am in Beijing. =)

Will be reporting in for internship at Sigma Center coming Tuesday, and whiling time in (cheap!) internet cafes until then.

Hope I haven't missed notifying any immediate friend (i.e. whom I meet regularly) about this plan, which was decided on just one month ago. Was delaying the blog post cos I thot it wouldn't be nice if they found out about it here first, and in the end, I didn't have time for it anyway.

On the work front, there's the deadline I was still working on the evening before the flight.. minutes before packing the lab PC and heaps of printed papers into boxes, because SoC will be relocating in July while I'm away.

On the musical commitment front, there's Soracco concert just the weekend before.. and still squeezed in one recording session. =D

And personally, there's some family circumstance.. the farewell dinners.. while the movie plans all failed to survive. =P

That left the packing to eight hours before the flight. Strangely sober and still taking my time to do it, as is my operating mode whenever pressure mounts up. It's psychological immune system, I suppose? Fortunately I started my checklist way before, and it got ticked off all right, but with a bout of forced confidence (simply no time heh) I didn't recheck.

A half-hour sleep and a check-in queue later, found myself taking advices from my parents in the airport while thinking, "I'm really leaving already?" =D

Seeing Aug's much crazier schedule, I once suggested that he should learn to say no -- but even then I knew I wouldn't practice it myself, because certain things you just don't want to say no to. =D

And well, often, maybe because we're lucky, things do turn out all right after all. And of course I owe it to so many different people for this "luck". =)

Still a little work to do.. but for that I need to first attempt to install Adobe Reader on this public PC, and the download is taking forever (and gee I do hope I followed the correct steps since the pop-ups are all in Mandarin) so that gives me more time to slack. =D

Right, then, some weather report. It's hot. And they say it's going to get hotter. =D Me being a tropical creature can handle the temperature so far, but unlike the humid Indonesian/Singaporean heat, it is dry here, and my lips are protesting again. But call it a father's intuition this time, as he was the one who suddenly suggested bringing a lip balm when he helped me with the last-minute packing. =))

I do sport an umbrella when walking down the streets, and yes, it's the umbrella I brought along from Singapore. Dorky much?

Third day here, and got my eight-hour nightly sleeps very soundly so far. ^_^ Plus nap. Figures people like me will never sleep sufficiently until you take away all our usual toys, like in this trip. ^^;;;

Haven't been around much except to internet cafes, Wal-Mart (I avoid bargain-necessary places for now.. and probably ever) and Hard Rock Cafe @ Beijing last night, by invitation of my roommate, a fellow intern. Met up with a few other foreign Microsoft interns and researchers: US, Korea, and mostly Japan. Given the venue and the company, I started talking about J-rock and anime, har. =D

For simplicity, told them I'm from Singapore. (Back in Singapore I'll be from Indonesia. =D) But the history did come up in the conversation, and they have more complicated history themselves, anyway. =))

Got very few photos not quite worth posting and cannot do it here either... so that's all for now, I guess. =)

And hey, Adobe's installed, finally. =D

Keep Smiling, Keep Sparks-ling

Did some reading on Idol Gives Back after watching the show. Well, mostly to check out on that Elvis trick whether Celine really was there... and to confirm my suspicions about the fame of a certain guitarist since he got to hug Kelly Clarkson at the end of the performance. (Okay, so I'm falling behind on my celebrity recognitional education.)

Anyway, given the theme, there were of course links to Bono, and I landed on this page. When he started with "Please join me in praying that I don't say something we'll all regret," I certainly couldn't resist reading all the way down. He said some really meaningful things there, about finding our stand, about what equality really means, about not "asking God to bless what you’re doing" but instead getting "involved in what God is doing"... well beyond a plain plea for charity, so go take a look.

And, about Celine, I realized the (at least, my) senses are really not to trust... much. Just because Elvis wasn't real I began suspecting if Celine was real. (Of course she exists ^^0 -- just whether her performance was taped or live.) If I'm the only one not seeing much difference between the effect and non-effect, oh well... What's more, felt like she looked younger there, the gorgeous lady, isn't it so?! ^^

And now I really want that song. In her voice.

Requite

These years, they are taking away
bit by bit of your life;
the same years that watch me grow
in and out of your sheltered side.

The way it flows, this inevitable course,
we can't stay in those roles anymore;
so go on and lean on me now
even as I'm learning to be strong.

As much as you love me, please
do not shield me from your pain.
Know that, the much that I love you
it hurts all the more not being there.

Life For Rent

I haven't ever really found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent
And I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
'Cause nothing I have is truly mine

-- Dido, "Life For Rent"

Heart of Bronze

Looks like it's Singapore Poly Flag Day today. Came across several waves of them on my way to campus.

First wave was just standing there without approaching me. In semi-rush, I passed them by.

Second wave was standing in a group of 5 or 6 on either side of the overhead bridge, chatting to pass time -- looking in all appearances to be ganging up on people. XD Brought the nostalgic term "tukang kompas" ("extorter") to mind... except that these were of course decent girls and boys for a noble cause. This time too I didn't make time to reach for my wallet, and passed them by.

Third wave was just a few meters away from the second, by herself, looking enthusiastic and asking sweetly. Naturally, I stopped and put in some money. =3

This is definitely the wrong way to approach the subject of charity, so I'd like to disclaim first that this post is not meant to go in that direction.

I am of the type of people who do charity if it is convenient. While in a rush I most likely will not stop for flags; if the rush is not so bad, I will contribute if I feel like it. (In fact, most things I do whenever I feel like it, regardless of the rush factor. ;P)

And yes, I belong to the camp of thoughts that says humans do good because it makes them feel good. I volunteer for things I enjoy doing. After all, taking pride or joy in what we do, charity or not, can only be a good thing, isn't it? Purpose has to come from oneself to be a sustaining power.

Does it make us hypocrites then? I hope this quote won't be looked down upon if I tell you it's from a manga, =D but a volunteer doctor in Fullmetal Alchemist impressed me when he said he'd "rather be a hypocrite than not do good" and went on to treat people who'd rejected him because he belonged to the other side of the war.

But I digress. I guess the point of this entry is that, most people will judge a god by his vehicle, and that's just natural.

I used to frown upon those charity shows on TV, but come to think of it now, they did what it took to be effective. I am idealistic enough to believe in the existence of pure altruistic intentions, but I don't think there are enough of these to make an impact on its own without a strategical push in other aspects.

Not to criticize the passive flaggers, though; certainly not from me who do things as I feel like it and who've been out flagging a total of once. =P Charity shouldn't turn into a reward system, at any rate. But the fact remains that people will be more inclined to give to those who "earn it", hence the need to tailor charitable efforts accordingly.

Conversations with Other Women

Watched Conversation(s) with Other Women with usual partner (Eka). =) A bit of an artsy film I suppose, what's with the split-screen cinematography. What's more, it's only screened in Cathay Orchard, in a small studio. Not bad for some VIP feel, huhuh.


The film itself was great, in my opinion. Considering 90% of the movie is a conversation between two people in a hotel. Or, depending on perspective, a very long (ahem) sex scene. =D Very refreshing for a change.

Speaking of which, I don't quite get the plurality in the title. I don't think the short lines exchanged with the few other female characters are significant enough. But anyway.

I've always been drawn towards mature characters in any kind of fiction, and I guess it's the top reason why I like this movie. Rational characters, rational conversation, nothing dramatized, nothing over the top. Still the woman (Helena Bonham Carter) has such strong personality, and the man (Aaron Eckhart) has such charming enthusiasm, that really engage attention from beginning until end. That plus some quiet humour from both as well as other characters.

I guess the clever use of split-screen helps too, since it keeps things alive with flashbacks and split-sequences (don't know if it's a technically correct term; what I mean is they split an event sequence into two and run both on the parallel screen. Like, say, the way you ask two kids to count one to ten in order, with one kid saying only the odd numbers and the other only the even numbers). And the last scene is quite a perfect ending technique. (Won't spoil it for you. Go watch.)

The official site justifies this technique by saying, "Since there are two sides to every love story, split screen proved to be the perfect way to tell both sides of Conversations with Other Women." It does heighten the interaction feel, though I don't think it is really about "two sides of a story", for which, in my opinion, they'll need to be consistent about which side represents whose side of the story. I'd say they interact quite amiably that the two sides aren't so different at all. But of course this way of telling it is much more interesting. =)

It is fairly open-ended too, with a slight suggestion towards a happy one =D so that's just perfect for me. Hahah. After watching moral-heavy movies like Hero and The Banquet, I'm starting to favor open-ended movies over simple happy endings. That is what life is like, after all.

Patching Up On Milky Way

An aspiration.

An insecurity.

Certainly not the sun
But could it be, perhaps, a lesser star

You don't have to see it
Just a quiet, outshined star

Rather than just a strategically located moon
Better at least, a self-lighting star

A nourishing planet may still do
Better still, a life-sustaining star

Light up the darkness several miles around
In equal standing with the other stars

Warm up an infinitesimal of the sparse galaxy
In a give-and-take with other lonely stars

Don't need much of anyone else to see
Just for oneself to know, it's living up to a star

While not yet the sun
Growing to, in its own right, one full-fledged star

---

Title is of course, twisted out of "Walking On The Milky Way"... that can be sung to the same tune. =D