法灯此心照一照

Several things happened yesterday that annoyed me -- petty matters really, but such are my peeves. =P

My reaction, as usual, started from justification:
1. It was their fault.
2a. Hm, but maybe I did trigger it a bit.
2b. Hm, but seemed like they really wasn't aware of the situation.
3. Inconsiderate folks, can't stand them.
4. But wait, did I also do something similar in the past?
...

Well, that was exhausting. Turning to Buddhist teaching I thought, I was building up so much anger and negative energy, I'd better dispel it.

So I started another round of analysis:
1. As the teaching says, these are my "teachers", I should be grateful to them.
2. But I should be entitled to expect certain things from people, no? Surely everyone else has something he/she is particular about, too?
3. Yet probably these things are done not out of courtesy, but kindness, so you can't really expect them.
4. Why should I be angry while they are oblivious to all this?
...

No proper conclusion still.

In a last attempt to find peace I thought back to the teacher figures in my past -- what would they have said?

It so happened that the first one I recalled was 开照师父, from whom I took The Three Refuges four years ago. I was quite amazed that I still remembered his face very clearly after so long (I rarely attended his talks since they were usually in Mandarin) -- such a bright smile left a very deep impression indeed.

Anyway, on the mere recollection of him I could imagine what he would have said: "你这么烦恼干么呢?" (er, yah, a more polite version of it maybe) and just like that, the heavy feelings were lifted off my mind.

It came back to me what he had always said: "不要让此心随意转﹐不要做一个烦恼的人."

There are all sorts of problems with this world (life), and a lot of them are just because we see them as so. They are not meant to be solved (想的通) but rather, to be apprehended with an open mind (想的开). (These are probably from somebody else, I don't remember exactly. And probably not a proper translation, hard to find the suitable terms..)

Come to think of it, it would be the anniversary of my taking The Three Refuges soon. This time, I can certainly appreciate the Sangha component much more. =) Often we know the teaching; we're just not skilled enough to apply it. And we do need those who have truly known happiness to teach that.