Spectrum

Something Resh said in yesterday's talk that really stayed with me: (paraphrased)

No teaching can lay a monopoly on Truth. The path is individual. When you use the knowledge on your own experience, scars and pain, the path becomes your own.

A somewhat relevant thought that has been in my mind lately runs in a different direction...

There are a lot of personality categorizations: extrovert/introvert, optimists/pessimists/realists, and so on. People usually do not fit exactly into one end. What's more, the in-between states manifest in not only many degrees but also many flavours.

There are the outgoing people who lead conversations and keep the group spirit high; there are the reserved people who listen silently and speak only when necessary; and then there are the geeks, who generally keep to their thoughts but come alive on specific topics. =)P

(Side note: I am very much hooked on The Big Bang Theory recently and am recommending it to any friend with the slightest geek inclination or even without.)

I was thinking that it probably resembled the colour palette produced by varying the RGB component balance-- just much, much more complex, considering the number of distinct trait-controlling genes in our DNA sequence... add to it the accumulation of different experiences, environments... I think it is closer to irregular by then.


There is also the sunrise/sunset test: people who prefer sunrise are said to be optimists while people who prefer sunset are said to be pessimists. I don't really stand by this theory if I think of the nocturnal people who begin their day on sunsets... And visually speaking, I think both are equally beautiful, and that probably makes me neither an optimist nor a pessimist, but a romantic. xD

Speaking of romantics, we also come in many flavours... Reflecting on a conversation on meteor showers the other day, I think that much as I'd love looking at starry skies, I don't get as excited as when I look at a sky full of colours or clouds. (I see that everyday and I still think it is breathtaking every time!) Though, now I suddenly yearn to go inside a planetarium to experience the 'wow' feeling before I can make that claim confidently... Science Centre, anyone? =D

Edit: After deeper probing, it seems that the SSC's Omni-Theatre/Planetarium is for IMAX movies (nothing star-related on the current list), while their portable planetarium system is by rental arrangements, and the Observatory stargazing is via telescopes. Hmmmm.

He gets his temper from his daddy.
He's got my eyes.
All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.
-- Mary Cooper, "The Big Bang Theory: The Luminous Fish Effect"

Burning Bridges

I have finally done a decent reading on the controversial events surrounding Ajahn Brahm that actually started two months ago. Late, I know! It took me many many articles to gather the main points and fill in the background knowledge, and still I hesitate to think I have sufficient understanding of all the issues involved.

For curious readers, I recommend this blog entry (first portion of it) for the gist of it with minimum jargons. What I'm going to write here will be more on my own mental reaction while reading rather than a discussion of the viewpoints. Let me warn early that I'm likely to be subjective and irresponsibly liberal and throwing pretentious poetic language in the following; you may not want to read on in your less tolerant moods...

Seeing as I do 'identify' with one 'side' of the controversy, I've been wary of having biases in forming my understanding of the matter. On top of that, I am usually a prick about how things are worded. An open letter from a direct participant put his points across in a way that made me think: "I cannot sense good intentions nor loving kindness in this" (as what I would expect given the writer's designation) and at that moment I thought I was surely going to be biased for that. (Or would that realization neutralize my opinion instead? Sway it the other way instead?)

Many comments raised many good points, both ways. I guess the heart of the matter can be as simple or as complex as anyone want to make it. As in many controversial issues I have pondered in the past (abortion, prostitution, homosexual marriage, ...) there is a clear-cut, indisputably positive value that humans are trying to achieve. In this case, it is gender equality, which I think hardly any reasonable society would deny nowadays.

However, that value almost always has many flavors. Contexts. Side effects, real or abstract, when different concerns are weighed. The 'statement made to the world' implied in performing an action. In endorsing it. Even in simply openly supporting it. Whether the implementation is proper or is damaging to the cause; whether that matters at all. Sacrifices, necessary evils, skillful means...

I am always of the opinion that if something makes someone happy without harming anyone else, let them have it. What constitutes 'harm', though? What constitutes 'happy'? Is it selfish to pursue a wish that not everyone is happy to see? Won't it be just as selfish to prohibit it?

I am also of the opinion that there is no need for 'statements', for labels, for clear sides. We can act based on what we believe in without flaunting it, without forcing others to accept it. Isn't that contradictory, now? =D Yet, as I have recently realized from what an openly bisexual celebrity said, there is a meaning to making that sort of statement, especially when one is not alone in that belief, when less fortunate others are hurt from being judged for the same belief.

The more I know
The less I understand
All the things I thought I knew
I'm learning again

I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about
Forgiveness
Forgiveness...

I suppose I am also making some sort of stand (even several) by writing this, vague as it is? As much as I want to think that people I interact with on personal or professional grounds shouldn't be affected by differing opinions on such specific matters as this (as with religion, race, political belief, ...) -- and that when the relationships are affected, then it would be in our best interests to keep a distance anyway -- I am still a coward who is wary about being judged.

Earlier on when I was contemplating signing the online petition, frankly, I had many doubts. Of all the points made, is there any pitfall? Are there potential unpleasant consequences? Will it be traced to my affiliations; will it reflect badly on them; will it reflect badly on me to them -- am I thinking too highly of myself there? xD Is a petition a wise step to take; will it make a difference?

In the end, just as I write this simply because I feel like writing (hence, pardon the lack of conclusions), I decide that I can take actions (or inaction) for my own biases and reasons, which do not even have to align with those of others on the same 'side'; and that making a stand is most importantly for my own learning and realization, of the values my life is based on, of the direction I am growing towards, of what I strive to be.

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned,
or in times that he cried?
In bridges he burned,
or the way that she died?

How about... love?

(And quoting these lyrics out of their original context if maybe to make yet another point.)

Which Side Are You On?

The sky this morning.

(sorely tempted to make corny references to 'the Dark Side of the Force')

The proportion of clouds compared to 'sky' also reminds me of this quote:

"How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when it is quite clearly Ocean."
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Woman

Update entry accumulating the several past weeks. =) 'Woman' happens to be a common thread running through the rambling that follows.


-- be an evil woman --

So... I finished watching Yume wo Kanaeru Zou ('Dream-fulfilling Elephant') some weeks ago. It's a comedy about the elephant god Ganesha (ah, ITB mascot!) who appeared to people wishing to change themselves, and taught them how to do so by giving 'tasks'. Some of these tasks felt like the points in a self-improvement book, but there were also some that were pretty thought-provoking. The prelude special starred Oguri Shun as a salaryman who wanted to be successful, while the proper 13-episode series starred Mizukawa Asami (i.e. how I found this drama =3) as a woman who dreamed of a happy (married) life. There were plenty of parodies including one of Death Note I still feel like laughing at, cheesy as it might be. xD


Of all the tasks I particularly remember a rather peculiar one: "Be an evil woman". It certainly puzzled the main character, as she was on a mission to charm men. The task meant for her to say and do what she wanted instead of suppress her true opinions for the sake of being perceived polite or nice. The application in the drama was of course exaggerated for comedic effect, but I think it was a pretty good advice actually, for people with sheepish personality like mine, and also in the context of the Japanese society where one is always careful not to be rude or to inconvenience others. It means acting as oneself instead of merely reacting to the surroundings. It is, contrary to what it may seem, an appeal.

My watch-list then moved on to Majo Saiban ('The Witch Trial') -- that is, the real 'evil woman'. =) Well, deciding whether or not this woman is evil is a major point in this court drama, revolving around the lay judge system that was apparently newly put into effect in the country this year. (Anyone recall John Grisham's The Runaway Jury?) The case is of a woman -- an awe-inspiring one in many ways! -- accused of murdering her lover in order to inherit his wealth. As one of the characters said in the drama, though, "the verdict has nothing to do with the truth", because the judges were manipulated via threats as well as vague evidences. The string of twists was mostly quite intense (though I wished they hadn't played on the 'psycho villain' thing too much), and even the ending was... should I say... riling. =P In Indonesian term, 'geregetan', lol.


-- woman's day out --

As for life off-screen, I had a fulfilling me-outing last Saturday. Ehm, nothing particularly womanly in the activities (in fact, most were rather unwomanly-geeky if we were to stereotype) but... yeah... I'm a woman, and let's focus on the singularity of that noun instead of the gender implication? ^__^

It started with The Blue Mansion movie, which I've been wanting to watch. Eka only wants to know who kills the guy. xD As it turns out, this dark comedy focuses more on the family dynamics rather than the murder mystery. I think it is pretty well done and enjoyable. Being a local movie, it didn't lack the hilarious Hokkian moments, too. =D The only thing I have against it is the paranormal angle in the resolution, but I am quite content to apply my own interpretation to it.

Afterwards, I couldn't find my fave Korean hotplate tofu set in Plaza Sing kopitiam -- did I remember wrongly? -- so I ended up having a Yoshinoya lunch. Somehow I still feel a little insecure eating alone in malls =D; (while canteens are of course okay) but I liked the meal so it wasn't difficult to ignore the other customers who weren't watching anyway, lol.

My errands for the day were to get my watch battery changed [*check*] and to get a gift [*check*]. Speaking of which, I owe the good ideas for the two most recent gifts I've bought to the just-in-time suggestions from Yesie and Eka, respectively. Casual mentions of such things have good results! Thanks, gals.

Quite a number of stores were having 'moving out sales' in Plaza Sing, that I wonder if something is happening.. I took one round each in Fila and Hang Ten but didn't get anything from there. The more tempting one was Sembawang's half-price deal for all their CDs. The store corridors were not wide to begin with, and at that moment they were filled with stacks of CDs as well as (probably many times the amount of their usual) customers, but still I spent an hour or so scouring the title lineup, and honestly, felt kind of a bonding with the people there as we kept excusing ourselves while carefully maneuvering our bodies around each other. xD That and our love for music and our opportunistic kiasu-ness? Ahahaha.

I of course hovered back and forth the Asian pop section mostly, and was considering to get one of the albums by one of my favourite artists just for collection, but in the end decided there wasn't really a point to it. =P Not a very good fan, huh. But I figured I'd save my money to buy more worthy collectibles that they would still be producing. =3


-- girl-talk --

Moving on... yesterday, had a mini picnic at Vivocity with the choir bunch initiated by Rebecca, after the rehearsal. Two guys and four girls, and we still managed to have some women-talk. =3 Well, men-talk too, as Julia, as always, had a lot of gender observation stuff to share, on top of her very unique recent experience. I think I've always been too attracted to gender-defying views to not be skeptical about such categorizations, but as a generalization those are interesting and useful knowledge. And oh, August also linked us to this very funny 'lecture' on men's vs women's brains:




-- lady in red ...or blue? --

Last update... got a new pair of spectacles today because I (accidentally, of course) added one more crack to it a few days ago, and this time it was not quite negligible. =P While choosing the frame I was attracted to a flexible kind with modern-ish design, but it had to go with impact-resistance lens which were costly. For my second choice I hesitated between a red-black one (striking!) and a navy blue one (more 'general-purpose'). Red or blue -- warm or cool -- right or left -- 51 or 244? xD (Ahem, ignore the last one, just my random fandom bit.) In the end, my pragmatic side won, so...


-- masculine-feminine --

To close off! (Woooo, longest post in a while...) Just got this hilarious Rose of Versailles parodying commercial from DIsk (a 'childhood shattering' discovery, to borrow his term, so RoV purists please consider that a warning) and since it involves the all-female musical group Takarazuka, I thought it'd be appropriate. (Come to think of it, the story itself is already a gender-bender, and now that both 'men' are acted by women, it gets even more twisted!) Enjoy!

Let Death See You Smiling

I've been more selective with movies lately, and I'm happy to say that most of what I've watched I would gladly recommend to others. =) Today, it is My Sister's Keeper. It is sort of a 'dark horse' to me; I've seen the poster but haven't been attracted enough to check it out before Eka asked if I'd want to watch. The promise of non-straightforward moral issues in the synopsis got me interested, and while the movie did deliver those, they were not the strongest impression I got by the end of the movie, because the story had much more. Well, we cried a whole lot. xD The runny nose I got was quite reminiscent of Okuribito..

After Wiki I found out there were differences from the original book. I kinda like both versions in this case. The movie's soundtracks are very nice too...

Life is beautiful
We love until we die

Let the monsters see you smile,
Let them see you smiling.

Do I hold you too tightly?
When will the hurt kick in?

Life is beautiful
but it's complicated.

We don't need to understand
There are miracles, miracles

I will hold you tightly
When the hurting kicks in.

Stand where you are
We let all these moments pass us by.

This is ours just for a moment
There's a lot that we can give.

Also invested 21.90 dollars in a foldable umbrella from Umbrella Label today. Quite ex surely, but I've been fed up with under-five umbrellas whose frame snapped broken within the first few times I used them and were close to useless in the strong wind. Hopefully this one will be durable, I'll let you know after a few months maybe. It is baby-blue and has cute giraffes on it... what I would call an 'Eka-approved' feel, lol. Speaking of which, my taste in umbrella colours can run from humble dark green to elegant maroon to striking purple, depending on my mood at time of purchase. Hm..