A Day of Kindness

Today I received so many acts of kindness (including material manifestations of it) that I have to write them down to remember. :)

Rushing from my team's exhibition booth to the MRT station, I left my water bottle behind. My colleague noticed and took it back to office for me.

Met Shixuan at the station and she helped me carry my bag while I lugged my laptop along.

Ai Ling fetched the two of us and gave us a ride to the charity dinner, where we were to perform. She also lent me her high heels which were much more comfortable than my own.

I got a bag as some kind of door prize. The draw chances must have been quite generous, as I'm usually not lucky at this kind of thing. :P

Weng Hong won a trolley bag at the lucky draw, but gave it to me.

I somehow won a crystal vase at the lucky draw, despite just telling Hwee Mei that (as I said earlier) I was usually not lucky at this kind of thing. In fact I just went to the restroom as I thought it wouldn't concern me, and Ai Ling went up to collect the prize on my behalf. ^_^;

I saw our institute ED Dr. Tan at the charity dinner as he went up to collect a prize, but didn't think he'd remember me from just a few presentations my team had with him. Hence I didn't go to greet him. It turned out that Mrs. Tan recognized me when we Soracco were up there singing, and they were the ones who came to our table to say hi. *_*

The organizers further gave us perfume bottles and vases as an appreciation token.

The dinner itself was sponsored for us (by Angie?) as we were volunteer performers.

Hwee Mei and Shixuan again helped me haul my stuff (plus all the loot) back to Ai Ling's car.

At the dinner, and at the exhibition too, I was having a good time, surrounded by friends and colleagues I could comfortably talk with (it usually takes me some time to warm up to people). In fact I was slightly worried that in my high spirits I might have been unmindful and blurted out inconsiderate things. :X

All these that I received today felt much more than I was giving back. Guess I can only be thankful to everyone for now, and slowly try to give more in the future. :)

Happy Vesak

A couple of personal reflections on this Day for Making Peace with Myself.

Sometimes I just need to give it time.
- Working smart is good when it works, but giving myself pressure to work smart when I can't only makes things worse.
- Not everything can, or should, be solved with a series of shortcuts.
- "Cross the bridge when you come to it" still holds true. Unless I'm supposed to build that bridge; then go ahead anytime.

The To Do list is always long. It's just as acceptable for "taking a rest" to be in there.


May I be well.
- May I always remember how to take care of myself.
May I be happy.
- May I not cause myself unhappiness through anger and worry.
May I be safe.
- May I earn the protection of a clear conscience.
May I be at peace with myself.
- May I always remember to be kind to myself.

May all be well.
- May I always remember to be kind to others.
May all be happy.
- May I be mindful so as not to cause others unhappiness.
May all be safe.
- May I be mindful to help others when I can.
May all be at peace with themselves.
- May I be mindful to accept others as they are.

One Third

Only got a hundred years to live

And so much still to be done,
more still that can be done,

that I wonder if the next-life-I
will still be working on what I'm working on now,
adding, improving, (if ever) completing...

But it takes so long to grow up,
    to learn, to understand;
it takes so much to reach this place;

that perhaps the present-life-I

    having grown into the right circumstances,
                                            (I think)
    having met the right teachers,
                                            (I believe)

had better not count on that other hundred,

    not even on the rest of this hundred,

only now--

to do, do, do
as much as can be done.

This day has passed, and your life too has lessened.
Like a fish running short of water, for what do you rejoice?
Strive on diligently now, as if putting out a fire on your head.
May you be mindful of the transience, and be cautious not to be slack.
-- Samantabhadra Bodhisattva

Memento

Let this be a reminder of our common ground,
of how everything is right
even when everything may change;

Let this be a reminder should everything change,
if ever I lose sight of all you give
in the face of what I crave;

Let this be a reminder that above what struggle may come,
with heart and mind, feel and reason
I do love you.

Generation T

According to Wikipedia, I belong to a generation at the edge between Gen X and Gen Y. The accurate dividing line, of course, depends on demographics and other factors, statistically. Realistically, we could just go by the distinguishing characteristics. Even then, rarely does a person fit neatly into any typical group.

I think of myself as belonging to a transition generation. Not as a term, but as how I would describe it here---that is, a generation that experiences both [temporal] sides of a cultural transition. Of course, the same might be said about almost all other generations, as it is unlikely that a generation span could go by without any significant transition taking place. Taking this to the abstract level, then, I would prefer to define this transition in the sense of inducing a way of thinking that encompasses both the old and the new cultures.

I was born into a culture of traditions, albeit one whose strictness had faded. There was an abundance of moral education on one hand, and superstitions on the other. Then science and technology brought widespread change of lifestyles, and thence came the culture of pragmatism, driven by what is effective and convenient. I have enough ties to the old culture to keep it in my life: childhood impressions, respect for the elders, memories of a time when the old way was the good way... I have also tasted enough benefits of the new culture to want to stick to it.

We who have witnessed this transition are in a position to understand the driving factors and, in a way, balance the best of both worlds. Have things changed because it was necessary or simply because it was possible? With a bit more effort we may also understand the ways of the generations before and after: what makes them think in a certain way that might at first seem ridiculous or outrageous. Some superstitions are simply poorly-justified or out-of-context good advice; some unscientific ancient medical beliefs might actually be beneficial though not for the reason stated (rather than confusing uneducated patients with explanations, better to drive home the importance of obeying the instructions using simple analogies). Likewise, "improper" behaviour patterns of the younger generation are likely a natural response (or even aspiring effort) to the values deemed important at their age, in the era.

Just as "the old generation" in our point of view may blindly follow traditions, or "the new generation" blindly follow trends, so may we prone to blindly rejecting their ways as bad. Trying to understand a common pattern should be considerably easier than trying to understand individuals with all their subtle flavours---which is what we need to do in our relationships anyway.

Transition or no, we can probably take more pride in being a thinking generation---whose span ideally has nothing to do with time---one who cares to try to understand rather than judge, lest there ever be a need to put "-ism" behind "generation", too.


Much of the inspiration for this writing has come from Arthur C. Clarke's "Childhood's End", which painted a much more impressive picture of "generations" differing in more than one sense of the word.

Listen

This year's Vesak resolution: listen.

This year we have an inter-faith celebration that is open to public, do drop by if you're interested! =)

Language is a Virus (from Outer Space)

Listening ears are temptation indeed
to talk,
checked only by the amount of trust
placed on the owner.

Communication is needed
and food for feelings,
but in idle chatter devils keep watch,
and mood is fickle
   that feeds argument seeds.

Oh, would that I'd chosen what was golden
and always knew when to choose it,

because
diction and tone and lingual flavors
make for a complex interpretation control;

because
human speech as it stands
has no reversible editing functions;

because
even in the harmless case
I take 'mundane' to a whole new level--

--for instance,
the urge to share at this very moment,
how the thematic word 'babble'
led me to the connoted-punitive 'Babel'--

so perhaps
only if you're a lit enthusiast, kindred spirit,
I'd suggest to click on these further reading links.

...be, nineteen years from now...

Early celebration of Angie's birthday yesterday. Much fun and sore throat had been had... and I think the 'plot-holed' attempt at making it a surprise just made it all the more memorable. =D It was nice to see Mal again too.

Maybe it is to be expected when it's someone like Angie, but I am still quite amazed to find 'lessons' to bring home from a birthday party. Was really touched when she talked about the founding days of Buddhist Fellowship 21 years ago, including the wavering period 11 years after, and how all of us wouldn't have been gathered there were it not for the few graduate students who themselves had never thought their simple target of "one project a year" would see a future as what BF is today.

Soracco itself has gone through many regenerations that it may not be as 'nostalgic' as say, a persisting friendship of the same people, but to many of us it is still something we are glad to be part of, something we watch grow with a heartwarming fondness... and I suppose its 'survival' is really thanks to the music foundation that Mal laid down and Aug carries on, Angie's lift and push, Ai Ling's loyal lead throughout.

Also, a good reminder of the Buddha's words from Dr Ang Beng Choo, relating people's contradicting opinions about Angie that she overheard:

"There will always be differing perspectives about anything. When the sun shines from the east, the tree casts a shadow to the west. When the sun shines from the west, the tree casts a shadow to the east. There is no need to worry about the shadow. Just make sure your tree grows strong and upright."

As Angie said, "If even someone like me can grow, there must be hope for all of you too." So... will keep working on it! ^^

Insider

Because I programmed it, I know the bugs left unresolved.

Because I wrote it, I know the vague points left hanging.

Because I built it, I see all the stitches in disguise.

Because I am me, I see all the flaws in denial...

With a dissatisfaction such as this

With an inferiority such as this

Could it be alright, for the time being

To be a better person -- just on a whimsical basis?

Sticks and Stones

Words, number one evil.
When you don't say enough, you offend with your lack of sociability;
When you say too much, you offend with your lack of tact.

Words, number one pain.
When you don't listen enough, you get blamed for not caring;
When you listen too much, you get tired from second-guessing.

Words, what bothersome thing.
When they don't say enough, they leave you feeling confused;
When they don't listen enough, they leave you feeling lonely.

Words, what elusive thing.
What they mean, they may not say it right;
What they say, they may not mean it right.

---

Been feeling the 'calling' for some time so it should be safe to state this now:

I'm making it my lifetime mission to minimize the instances of miscommunication in my world.

That includes painstaking email editing (couldn't get any worse than now), mediating conversations, being mindful, being mindful, being mindful.

Join me. *waves*

Forerunner

This year's Vesak resolution: Be mindful.

While I'm utilizing this tag, event pimping! Our Vesak concert "Family and Friends" on 23--24 May 2009, Jubilee Hall. We'll be performing pop songs and original compositions, with guest performance by Robert Fernando. Tickets are by donation.

跟自己的约会

If you know you can trust yourself
you will feel relaxed
and unmoved by praise and blame.
Regardless of what others say,
you are content.

Those who do not have a firm foundation in practice
can easily be sucked in
and their perceptions are warped as a result.

When you understand this matter
you will be truly untroubled.

Nothing that happens is wrong.
Everything is Dhamma.

- Ajahn Chah -

The one thing I'm missing right now... that trust in myself.

Aaa yosh, strive on with diligence! o_(>_<)_o